WAKA Austin – Week 4
July 23, 2009-
Costumers of the night!
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From your Live Prez….
I’m in beautiful Cleveland Ohio all week for work. Fighting off a case of strep and a multi-day hangover from a bachelor party. I do, however, have two beds in my hotel room and am pretty excited about the possibilities that might present later on in this week. I won’t be at kickball this week which is only adding to my depression and desire to go chug a gallon jug of miracle whip while watching a golden girls marathon in the bathtub and juggling blow dryers. That being said, I’ll keep this short.
1. Hope everyone had a great time last week. Hope you played well. Hope you cupped some flips. Do the same this week and then give a stranger a high five or something.
2. REFFING: I know some of you have gotten steamed about calls made on the fields. You guys have to remember that we are almost all VOLUNTEERS here staying on the fields and not going to the bar just so that we can make sure you get a good fair game. We will not be perfect everytime but will work to make sure you don’t get robbed of a fair chance to have a great time. IF you do have a complaint, make sure you let the captain know and have them talk to the ref. If it is not resolved then, talk after the game and an appropriate action will be taken. I’m sorry if anyone feels bad about the reffing at all. I promise we want all of you to win. Most of you, at least..
3. I won’t be there this week so it will be slightly less fun. Everyone feed Cameron with some Guiness and tell him he’s a girly man. The rest will take care of itself.
See you soon. I miss you guys. Have a great week.
- The Ninja
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From Capitol President Rock:
Capital Division,
Good afternoon and welcome to a little session of Rock talking sh** to everyone, but (I regret to say) Relax and Let it Happen.
Trust me, they will get their own one of these times on GMOT, however, until then yall get to hear it. We had two of our four teams lose to Live teams and a third give up the potential first loss of Relax. First for my team of degenerates…What the hell was that? I know the first inning you aren’t exactly “warmed up” or drunk enough (however you want to look at it), but come on. Maybe next week we should play one of the teams from the “Little Miss Kickball League” (average age of 12), then maybe we could actually beat up on someone like we got beat up on last week…just maybe. So this week if you start running laps around the field from some mysterious energy you have…its most likely from the adderall I put in each of your first beers. Just embrace it, concentrate cause you have no choice and remind Kickopotamus X why we play in Capital. Team, I will start enforcing mandatory sprints after games Now on to the Capital team that I had put so much faith into…winning the first game against Freebasers, stressing out Liver Let Die, but losing in Live? I don’t know what happened exactly as I didn’t see the game, but you didn’t win and you let me down. Don’t think fanny packs make you some sort of all-star overnight…get yalls sh** together and give a good ol fashion ass kicking to Been There Balled That. We are Capital, they are haven’t balled a darn thing. Not to be rude or anything, but you can’t just get three runs in the first inning and think its over. Especially with a team like Relax and Let it Happen. What is amazing though is how they only had two players representing the Y chromosome out on the field; Richard Gray and Justin Grady. With some missing self proclaimed all-stars, Relax was forced to rely on Joey Thomas. Standing at 6′ a lot, Joey Thomas may be the best female kickball player this sport has ever seen. With a wing span reaching nearly six and a half feet Joey is a dominating force that I reckon will set female kickball records to come.
Alright Capital, make a President proud and let’s win some games.
Thursday…sounds good? Yall have a good one and see you at the fields.
Rock
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Hey Guys,
Another $123 in Jello Shots were sold in week 4, bringing the total amount sold this season to $699. Weapons of Mass Consumption came through again purchasing more than 35 Jello Shots. The Tyrannical Teabaggers also purchased more than 20. Thanks to both of those teams for stepping up to the plate.
As for this week, I will not be at the games but Sloane from The Tyrannical Teabaggers will be filling in for me, so look for her as she will have the Jello Shot backpack.
Good luck this week!
Alaina
“Jello Shot Bartender”
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What up ballllllas!
As you may have noticed, recycling bins have been at the fields now for a couple of weeks! Mother Nature thanks you.. Just a heads up the bins need to be separated in terms of what’s in them — one is for cans (crush them on Cameron’s flame socks if you can) and the other is for plastic (jello shots, solo cups, etc). I shouldn’t see glass in them! (I’m looking at you.. yeah you…) But there are 400+ people in this league and I need your help.. what does this mean?
One time commitment… Use your truck.. You would have to remain at the fields (which you do anyways with your drinking “problem”). I would make sure the recycling bins would be collected and then we would drive them over in the bed of your truck to the recycling center not 10 minutes away. I would then thank you profusely. I can’t bribe you with sexual favors but I can find those that are willing to put out for Mother Nature. Beer is also in your future. I repeat one time only!!!
Please if you can, let me know, atroncoso24@gmail.com or text me at 703 -774-8018.
Thank you in advance!
Kisses and Revolution,
Drea
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Hello Flip-cuppers,
This week worked out sooo much better and most teams that came to play had a blast! I appreciate all the supportive comments and thanks to Drew for helping out with guest reffing this week.
We had two close games this week! Hannah Montana’s Sex Tape and XXX Men had a make-up game this week and it ended with a ton of yelling and garbage can banging that got the attention of most of the bar. XXX Men pulled it out and gave me a most memorable ending to call. Good job guys!! The other match was between “sister teams” Booze on First and Big LeBALLskis. It came down to the 2-2 tie and you could cut the anticipation with a knife. In the end, Grant and Big LeBALLskis got the win. Great games everyone!
Regular reminders for this week: Please get enough beer for your team before you get to the table. As always, I’ll be trying to keep the games going. Keep an ear out for me yelling out team names. I’m short, so you may hear me coming before you see me. Some teams are still behind in the scoring from week two. Just remember, when you play two games on the field, you’ll also have two matches at the table. The scores will all even out in time.
An extra note this week…I’m going to need some support and assistance the next two weeks to keep the games going. I have another 9:00 game in week 5, so I need someone to start up the games for me. Games should start around 8:30 so it would need to be someone with a 6:45 or 7:30 game. I will have the board written out and the cups will be bought before I get to the fields. Once I finish my game, I will head straight to the bar to finish the night up. If anyone would like to volunteer to help out, please email me at hayesjk2000@yahoo.com. See everyone on Thursday! As always, feel free to email me with any questions or comments.
Keep the beer flowin’ and the cups flippin’…
~ Jen
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On on the fields…
TxLive Summer Standings
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Relax and Let it Happen
First off, I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Justin Grady and I’m taking over the Relax write-ups while the great Mark Meroney a.k.a. Big Stacy takes the summer off. Many of you know me as the guy that, whenever he gets thrown out at first, teams celebrate as though they’ve just won the World Series, even though they’re down by like 10 runs. They celebrate because I’m fast and I’m black. It makes them feel strong and significant in the face of inevitable defeat.
But, considering our last win had nothing to do with me, I’ll have to bring my introduction to an end. The real story here is the guts that Relax and Let it Happen showed. We only had 3 girls (thanks Minnie), and a lot of our guys were playing out of position due to my injury and Jay’s vacation. Joey had to pitch for the first time, and he did a stellar job. We were playing last season’s runner-up, The Freebasers, and they were gunning to redeem themselves after their less than stellar performance in last season’s championship game. They did that by jumping out to a 3 run lead! Does anyone understand that that has never happened? But, we stayed true to our roots, and stayed relaxed. Three-time champions don’t fold when the going gets tough. They don’t bicker at each other and let negativity poison the camaraderie. They man (and woman) fuck up. And that’s what we did.
David set the tone for the comeback with his heroic tag up from third. He was playing with an almost partially torn groin muscle or something, so he could’ve half-assed it. He had made a small fielding error that allowed The Freebasers to score, so he could’ve been throwing a pity party. But he did none of that shit. Instead, he tagged up from third on a ball that was in the INFIELD and would’ve been thrown out had he not slid head first into a dangerous mixture of gravel, dirt, poop, and most importantly home plate. Katie, who had beautiful kicks all game, and played stellar SS scored on a tag up after that, and we closed the gap to 1 run.
They say defense wins championships, and frankly, that’s why we’re on our way to a fourth. Richard, Jennifer, Jim, and Minnie pounced on balls in the outfield like rabid pirahnas. Can pirahnas get rabies? I didn’t think so until I saw the speed and grace portrayed by our outfield. The infield didn’t make any mistakes after the second inning. Hunter was quick behind the plate even though he was drunk, Ty didn’t miss a ball at first, and Joey sliced and diced the strike zone like he worked at Benihana or something.
The next time we were up to kick, we got the bases loaded and scored two more runs to gain the lead. Shout out to Joey and Jim’s clutch kicks. The Freebasers gave us all that they had and I’m sure we’ll see them again, at which point we’ll beat them.
We showed a lot of guts out there, and I’m proud of my team. So, if you find yourself in a sticky situation and you’re not sure what to do. Remember to relax and let it happen.
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Baby Jesus
It’s amazing what can happen when you put everything together all at once. Bacon and steak and cheese. Beer and pretzels and peanuts. Viagra and Crisco and leather. Each thing individually is great, but everything together is magic.
Last week, Baby Jesus put it all together. Blasting out a season high five runs through various methods and clamping down on the defense. The Toe Blasters made us sweat, I think they had 16 guys kicking in a row at one point, but we got it done.
In an effort for consistency, we’ll do the exact same things this week. So Sean, sorry, you need to stay away for the first inning then come back and make half the plays on defense. Jenn, you need to forget how to run. Glen, you need to mow down the kickers and leg out triples. And Mike and Miya, um, I GUESS we can have y’all back this week, but if we start going south you might have to leave.
Hallelujah Amen.
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i KICK BALLS!
This week your local ball kickers got their first and much deserved win of the season. An impressive 3-0 win over Smirkin Merkins got the Ballers in the win column and ruined a Detroit Lions-type imperfect season. There were so many great plays from the game that we had to list them in a Top 10 (in no particular order):
10: Causing the first foul-outs of the season on a few of the Merkins elite guy kickers.
9: Bethany tripping over first base in a quazi attempt to celebrate her first hit of the season.
8: Steven taking time out while on the mound to take a drink of beer before shutting down the Merkins line up.
7: Jeremy catching three balls in one inning at third even after getting hit in the face pre-game by an errant kickball.
6: Brandon with a clutch catch in the outfield to kill a Merkins rally.
5: Emily scoring her first run of the season.
4: Kai winning rock, paper, scissors to start the game.
3: Rachel and Adam providing solid defense to help preserve the win.
2: T.J., Steven, and Tim (the new pitching trifecta) with a combined 5 hit shut out. No fault to Merkins…I don’t think they could probably even see the ball with the speeds these guys were throwing.
1: Sarah’s game winning two-run rbi single in the 1st. Who knew she’d be our clean-up kicker?
Look for i Kick Balls to continue this streak next Thursday, as they seem to have found their stride. The season might be hitting the half way point with them at just 1-2-1. However, the Ballers are starting to come together as a unit on and off the field. And, because their good luck accessories worked so well, be sure to come out to the next game at Jaycee Fields in Zilker Park for Crazy Hat Night. Not only will i Kick Balls be sporting hats, but they encourage their fans to show up with their craziest hats as well. Be sure to call up the hot line for tickets at 800-kik-balls. That’s it for this week, we’ll be back next week to see if they can make it two in a row!
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Things 40 oz. to Victory learned last week:
Sandy’s has frozen custard.
Having a 1, 2, 3 5th inning is boring.
You don’t catch with your face…well much.
Efficient base running is over rated.
Catching the ball is only fun if you have to run for it.
Mike’s spastic base running style works all too well.
Saying “I got it” means talking too much.
Like real estate, it’s all about location, location, location.
Scoring more than twice means making a commitment.
When Joe’s buying, we’re drinking.
We won! We’re having a contest with ourselves to see how long we can go undefeated while barely scoring at all. So far, it’s working out for us. Thanks again to Salim and Becky for making a heads up play to stop the Sexy Pitches’ 5th inning come back just as the tying run was rounding third. Another awesome game against another fun team!
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Freebasers
Sometimes the game can eat you alive. One minute you’re high on home plate, the next minute you’re getting robbed by a corner boy. This week, the Freebasers got a little taste of the whole package. We took a solid 3-0 lead on the depleted Relax, only to squander our high for the second week in a row. No excuses though. For the first time this season, we fielded a full team of fiends. Sometimes the addiction just isn’t strong enough. We got outplayed. Relax simply wanted the rock more than we did, and they out-fiended us to get it. What can you do. The game’s the game. Win or get got.
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And now, the highly anticipated…
Sit On My Base
There had been a lot of media hype leading up to last week’s – Sit On My Base/Walk Of Shame matchup. Things had been said that were, frankly, below the standards of what we feel represents the best of who we are as a league and as people. Sure, we may have beaten the pants off WOS 5-1, but we here at Sit On My Base don’t want to sink to our competitors’ level and fill this publication with negativity and slander. That’s tacky. Instead, we want to take some time out to talk about how great we are. After all, it’s not just about winning on the field (which we did); it’s about winning off the field, too. Let’s check in with some of our team members and see what they’ve been up to in the community…
Colin de los Santos
Colin, a former Rhodes scholar and six-time windsurfing champion, was recently honored for his work with developmentally disabled children of homeless Iraqi war veterans. His non-profit organization, “One Lollipop Per Child, Please Don’t Ask For A Second” has helped distract dozens of children from their afflictions for up to five minutes. At home, Colin splits his time between his downtown loft apartment and his private yacht, the U.S.S. Sit On My Base Will Kick Walk Of Shame’s Ass Every Time. Colin is fit. He’s beautiful. He’s a winner.
Will Blair
Will is a man who needs no introduction. His exploits as a world-renowned illusionist and helicopter rescue pilot are a matter of public record. Recently, however, Will has shunned the limelight as the result of the mass hysteria and bacchanalian orgies that erupt whenever his hypnotically handsome face is shown fully to the public. He chooses instead to focus on his work in philanthropy, including his recent “Ghetto Magic” campaign in which several city blocks of tenement housing for low-income families were changed overnight into a waterslide park for affluent teens. Will is fit. He’s beautiful. He’s a winner.
Mark Colindres
As one of America’s premier putt-putt golf course designers, Mark is no stranger to bringing smiles to people’s faces. But if you ask him what makes him smile, he’ll probably tell you about his recently opened women’s shelter. It’s called “The Courtney Love Memorial Center for Women with Low Self-Esteem,” and is available to all women 18-35 years of age who wear a size six or lower. Mark says of the Center, “It’s a place where troubled women can come to receive compliments and stiff drinks. Whether they have daddy issues to work out, or need to feel attractive again if only for a night, this Center provides a harbor in the storm. But they have to leave by 8:00 AM every morning ‘cause I have work.” Mark is fit. He’s beautiful. He’s a winner.
Minnie Nguyen
As envoy for the United Nations Committee on Hunger, Minnie Ngyuen ended a century-long famine afflicting the Naihootoo Tribe of Karekumbi. The sole heiress of the Ngyuen energy empire, her wealth, though kept secret from the public, is believed to be vast. Her collection of rare naval vessels of the Civil War is unmatched in the world. In 2003, Ngyuen opened the Ngyuener’s For Life non-profit organization. Today, the NFL owns, funds, and operates, 47 children’s hospitals around the world. From Compton to Cambodia, her mission is that all children receive the healthiest of starts in a world full of hate and petty three-season long rivalries. Minnie Ngyuen, she’s trim, she’s trim, and she’s not a Ngloser.
Robert Short
Trial Lawyer, Green Energy Investor, and Concert Pianist, Rob Short wears many hats. After sinking his life’s savings into the California start-up, Google, Rob decided to commit the rest of his life to his real passion: American Sign Language. Today, thanks to Rob and his organization the Project for the New American Sign Language Century, ASL is now being taught on every continent on earth. From defendants to energy sources to late Romantic Works to new tech start-ups, to playing kickball, the skinny on Rob Short is this: like a winner, he only chooses winners.
Lisa Naeyaert
Lisa Naeyaert champions the rights of the homeless both in and out of the boardroom of General Electric. Her annual “Sell the Cars I Bought This Year” Auction raised over $60 million dollars in 2008 alone. Her controversial Hobo Heights in downtown San Francisco has moved over 5,000 homeless off the streets and into luxurious 2,000+ square foot condos fully-furnished and replete with imported marble floors, High Def Flat screen monitors, platinum hardware, and breathtaking views of the bay area. Using tactical jets from her private collection, Lisa has flown 12 missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. Her unbridled, cavalier attitude and penchant for the color black has earned her the nickname among Coalition Forces: the Maverick-Batman. Lisa Naeyaert, she’s a bad ass, she’s a trim ass, she’s a winner.
Wow. Wasn’t that great? The moral of the story is this: Don’t talk shit to your betters in the GMOT. They’re probably a bunch of smug assholes who will destroy you on the kickball field. Lesson learned.
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The Walks really feel Florida Evans’s pain. Victory always seems one inning away against the players from Sit on My Base, yet somehow the last two meetings have gone their way. Oh well. Some folks think that maaaaybe I shouldn’t have posted the picture I posted last week. That it just “went too far.” That maybe I “woke up a sleeping giant.” Blashphemy! Sleeping Giants aside, we backed up that trash talk until the last inning. But unfortunately, not even the home run of my life, and our amazing luau, could save us from this defeat. We tried to take them out of their game and in the party spirit by getting them leis, but they were not fazed. I guess this is why they win championships. We can’t deny them that. They are a battle-tested bunch and we are still a bunch of young pups searching for 1st taste at the cup. We’ll get there, and we know we’ll have to go through them to do it. So have your jollies this week, you earned it, but you haven’t seen the last of us. And you know it. No matter what your GMOT column says this week about me and my smack-talk, you’ll have to see us again!! (With a full team, mind you. Just sayin’) But in all honesty, great game guys!
After the deflating loss, members of the Walks teamed up with our buddies from 40 Bounces (Not “Ounces,” you posers) to continue our luau. A great time was had by all of us, and we definitely want to do it again with you guys, perhaps when its slightly cooler out. Purple looks really good with rainbow colored leis. We must admit, but not as good as maroon. Oh and by the way, I really enjoy your colors this season over what you wore last season. Gross!
Big props to Chris, Louis, Kris, Karen, Mizzy, and the rest of the team for showing up in their Hawaiian attire. That was pretty badass. Somehow, Chris’s shirt was still tight. How do you do it, Slob? How do you do it? Everything you wear fits snuggly. Anyway, you still looked like a stallion. Oh and I loved, loved, loved, seeing you guys sip beer out of the glass with umbrella straws!!! Win or lose, you guys are the greatest team in the world to play with, and I wouldn’t trade you away for anyone…. Well except for Joey. Which brings us to our next opponent….
Oh Joey (#81), you look adorable. And we love that you used to wear maroon. It’ll make life really easy when you join the Walks after this week because we are finally going to show you that we are no pushovers. Don’t let our game against Sit on My Base fool you, we were winning, and we were playing down two people in the infield. And Jay, it’s Live rules, so that pitching arm you have will have to rest for a week. Roll that ball real slow down the center so Jorge and I can kick it to next week. And we know you guys are real, real quick but you can’t bunt. That could be a problem. Either way, we have absolutely nothing to lose in this game. I mean if you beat us, you’re supposed to right. I mean we are “little leaguers.” Vegas has you guys as 6 run favorites…. But as I’ve told you guys countless times…. We view you guys as Mike Tyson, and we are Buster Douglas and you know what happened then…. See y’all on the fields.
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Where My Pitches At?
This past week the Pitches went up against the Teabaggers, and it was a great game…There was a bit of confusion as to number of innings played (the rum might be to blame for that)..but it all was worked out. Kudos to the teabaggers on the win.
During the game several of the “Pitches” were blinded by the red glitter emanating from our substitute pitcher, Kevin “the ginge” McMyler.
So much so… that there was almost a collision on second base due to the blinding effects of the red glitter. Perhaps shades will help shield the Pitches from ‘the ginge’s’ awesomeness this week.
We might have lost, but the Pitches definitely weren’t feeling any pain afterwards..thanks to the lovely drink specials at Jovita’s..Our livers were definitely not speaking to us on Friday.
The Pitches are coming back with a vengeance (and even more rum) this week..so watch out!
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Dear Merks:
Congratulations on our first NON-LOSS! We warmed up against iKickballs and their capital level pitcher who will be forever known as hair band. Then, all warmed up, put dunder UNDER SEIGE. Tragically we couldn’t totally keep it together and only tied… but still! T is better than L in the grand scheme of things. After the game, we continued our debauchery… flipped cups until the lights shut off, grilled delicious burgers of delight using our newer bigger more fabulous grill, gave minors alcohol, then drove to the bar in reckless abandon. Once there we kicked some red teams a$$ in cups and continued the drink-down. See the “picture find” game below. That will give you a good idea of what our night was like.
Shout outs to Megan “sweet shorts” Lundy and Joe “Wipeout” Young who both ate dirt in significant ways. Way to bleed for the team guys. Jason & Manny – You continue to amaze me with your athletic prowess. Baines – Greased lightning. Seriously. Calysta – pitching impeccable as always. Rachel – BEST CHEERLEADER EVER (Can’t wait to see the merkin!!) Sabrina – Amazing third out. Way to hug that ball like it was a third breast. Amy – for a lot of refreshing beers. Tina – late show up was key. We were almost understaffed (in a team of 18? Yes, really). To Ina Spokas, for playing with a broken hand. Bonehead moves of the game go to Catnip McCaskey “Which runner do I tag out?” and everyone who doesn’t call that goddamn ball. Not bitter.
Yours in faux hair down there,
Kelly
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Booze On First
And now for something completely different… our writeup in video and pictures. It only seemed suiting for such a badass costumed game.. Love you forever LeBALLskis!
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Big LeBALLski’s
Let’s keep this short and simple:
1. Costumes make everything better.
2. Mark makes a convincing regular to the Cockpit.
3. Pirates + Pitchers = Domination
4. Construction workers can ball.
5. We love booze on first.
6. Home run with baby in tow.
7. Chase can jump a mile. Not kidding.
Add it all up and what do you get: UNDEFEATED. Andre, get ready for that skirt, big guy.
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Bobcats, Pumas and Dawgs
The game started with a lot of energy, with Cassie a former teammate bringing some pom-poms to cheer our team on. Jaden, our mascot, was acting more wired up than normal perhaps because he was ready for a win, but most likely because this was the last game he will see of this season (he is headed to Cali) he wanted to make sure we all remembered him. Both teams started with great defense, XXX’s pitcher made multiple strong throws, getting people out on their way to first (I should know.. I have a huge bruise on my right leg to prove it – no joke). I bet you didn’t know a big red rubber ball can give you a bruise.
The turning point came when Rob made a enormous kick to center field bringing in SuperDave, who had got on base with a highly controversial side footed kick, at the same time. Allowing our team to take a 2-0 lead. Rachel scored (and she also made a run), along with 2 other Bobcats – making it 5-0. This game was not easy. We, as a team, prepared putting in one long and very successful practice before the game. Our team is starting to feel each other.. I mean starting to get the feel for each other, which lead to our first W.
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Red Rockets
Cheerleaders!!!!! The reason teams win…and we’ve got em! They can make shirts, they can mix drinks like a champ, and they can high five with both hands… because they are the Red Rockets cheerleaders and they are badass.
Lil Morgan with a pregame phone rap…
Headin to the fields for some kickball gonna try real hard, you know balls to the wall we’re real good, probly gonna win takin it over to jovitas and then… flip the cup, flip the cup you guys know whats up. kickballi-olli-olli-o, then wrap it up with some flip cup
Stellar performance by the Red Rockets in game 4 versus Liver Let Die. The 9 pm game time worked really well because we play better after a few beers and Sparks and by 9 pm the buzz was flowing. We played strong from start to finish! Badass kicking, running, Chelsea booping, and a one handed catch to end the game, what?? Too sick!
We did have one player, Mr. Paul Simon, who got too wasted playing BYOB putt-putt that he couldn’t make the kickball game. However he texted Coach Jay with a picture of a massive burrito he ate so that made up for it.
It was a good night for the red team.
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Fireballs
WHOOPIN’ SOME ACES
You know what? I’m runnin out of stuff to write about…… it’s the same thing every week. We whoop em’ then go play flip cup and whoop em’ again. What else is there to say?
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40 Bounces to Freedom
Aloha Bounces–great showing last week! We continued our winning streak by narrowly escaping the wrath of Hannah Montana’s Sextape with a 4-3 win. Everyone played well last week and let me just say that had I bought enough tiki water bottles, everyone would have gotten one. Kudos to Hannah Montana for having great sportsmanship and for being awesome competitors—we love you guys! The party continued postgame as we sipped our Hawaiian Punch “punch” and attempted to mingle (I use this term loosely) with Walk of Shame. Maybe if we had served MD 20/20 instead, everyone would have been more sociable…anyway, this week. XXX. Be ready. We’re comin’ for ya.
Whose House? Bounce House.
–A-Game
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TeaBaggers
To all the teams that have been teabagged… don’t worry. You weren’t the first, and you won’t be the last; except “iKickballs.” You were the first, but you definitely weren’t the last. Both teams started out strong, but the Teabagger’s prevailed in the third inning when their offense penetrated the Pitches’ defense with a significant well thought out sacrifice play. Doug started the inning with a sweet single. Sloane then stepped up and destroyed the ball to advance Doug to 3rd. And by destroyed, I mean hit a dribbler to the pitcher for an easy out at 1st while El Doug stole the extra base, no oxygen required. Mike brought him in with a perfectly executed sac fly for the only run of this pitchers’ duel. Any ball that was kicked in the air the Teabaggers caught with style. I guess it is safe to say that taking balls to the face is an effective defensive maneuver. There was a scare in the fourth inning when the Teabagger’s first baseman (who chose to remain nameless…ahem, Sloane) was overcome by fear and confusion when a ball found its way between her legs. The team then pulled together and covered her ass to escape the inning with no damage done. She then redeemed herself in the final stanza by catching a foul ball to end the game. Considering our shotgunned double plays, vacuum cleaners in the outfield, cross the diamond throwouts, and a quintet of girls that can not be messed with (it has been heard from other teams that our girls are “juiced” and shouldn’t be considered women…FALSE) it can be said that the Teabaggers are a force to be reckoned with. There has been word spreading throughout the WAKA league about how the Teabaggers take the game too seriously. This may be true, if you define serious as showing up with half the team half sloshed with the third baseman barely able to stand. We also have been known to celebrate our wins with victory Jello Shots (and considering the results thus far, that’s a lot of Jello Shots), which can be confirmed by Alaina if there should be any further investigation. In fact as a result of our last game, we are now known as the team that drinks, pukes and rallies. We had a couple players… Aimie and Amog… toss their cookies only to show up at the bar minutes later for Flip Cup Domination. So to those of you out there who doubt us…. Don’t hate us because we win… Hate us because we teabag your ass!
**The plays recapped in this write up may or may not have happened in the set inning. Thinking back on it the person who was supposed to be taking notes was chasing down Alaina for jello shots. T-T-T-TEA-BAG-GERS!! (Just for you Aimie…still lame though.)
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