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WAKA Austin: Week 6

November 19, 2009

WAKA WINTER PROM: 80s & SADIES

80s Prom Guide:

Let’s be honest, all you REALLY need for an 80’s prom dress is a leotard, some tulle and bright colored accessories. However if you’re looking for something special, you have come to the right place. From hairdos and hair bands to inspirational movies to where in the heck do I find some of this awesome, the prom committee is here for you.

For big hair – try Pssst. It is dry shampoo that you can find at Walgreens/CVS. The pros use it for teasing. The bigger the hair the better.
Been searching all over town for the perfect dress? Would you rather buy one than make one? Here is a list of tons of thrift and vintage stores at your disposal.
  • Thrift Town – 5700 Manchaca Rd, Austin, TX 78745-3635
  • Thrift Land – 512 W Stassney Ln, Austin, TX 78745-3155
  • Millions of Goodwills http://locator.goodwill.org/
  • Millions of Salvation Armies www.salvationarmyusa.org
  • New Bohemia – 1606 S Congress Ave, Austin, TX 78704-3522
  • St. Vincent’s thrift store – 1327 S Congress Ave, Austin, TX 78704-2432
  • Savers – 4001 S Lamar Blvd, Austin, TX   78704 AND  5222 Burnet Rd #600, Austin, TX   78756
  • Top Drawer Thrift – 4902 Burnet Rd, Austin, TX
  • Buffalo Exchange – 2904 Guadalupe St, Austin, TX‎
  • Lucy in Disguise – 1506 Congress Ave S, Austin, TX‎
  • Room Service Vintage – 107 W North Loop Blvd, Austin, Tx
  • Cream Vintage – 2532 Guadalupe St, Austin, TX‎ AND 2210 S. 1st
  • Feathers – 1700 S Congress Ave, Austin, TX

Beware that some thrift stores are cash only.
If you feel like saving time and not driving around town, ebay, craigslist, amazon, etc. ALL have dresses for sale.
Still having trouble channeling your inner-80s? Rent any of these awesome movies below all feature 80s dances. Pretty in Pink
Trick or Treat
Can’t buy me love
Sixteen Candles
Fast times at Ridgemont High
Teen Wolf
Valley Girl
Sixteen Candles
Don’t forget our party is on December 4th at 8 pm @ scholz garden. If you need tips on how to get a date, look at the GMOT from 2 in the pink a few weeks ago and start making your moves tonight!

http://anyvite.com/wdlcwftg8z
(VIEW PROM E-VITE)

The theme is 80s and Sadie’s but that’s just for fun. If you want to go with a gaggle of girlfriends, as a team, as a threesome, as a octet… we love that just as much. Because, let’s face it, that’s actually more representative of what happened in our high school dance lives than having a date.

Off like panties at prom,

The Prom Committee

A Dudes Guide to the 80’s Prom:

Here at Waka we understand that you dudes have no clue what the heck to do with an 80’s prom.  We barely made it through the first prom, right guys?  I mean, a corsage?  It has to match what?  My suit? Her Dress?  It all gets confusing.  Why am I smiling for 20 different mom’s right now?  Did I really need to wear my dad’s scarf?  This looks stupid.

Because we have no idea what we’re doing here, I thought I’d give you some pointers to have a successful Waka 80’s Semi-Sadies Prom.  Here come the pearls of wisdom.  Hint: chicks like pearls.  That one was free…

  • 1. The dumber you dress the sexier you are.  I know this goes against everything you’ve ever known.  No Ed Hardy, no graphic tee’s, no good hair style.  No mossimo, no garbeaux jeans, no Abercrombie and no north face.  All these things got popular in the 90’s and are irrelevant.  Bring some stupid colors, some ruffles, and perhaps a skinny tie or a hat that looks like a red Lego fortress (please don’t make me explain the reference).
  • 2. Dance like a maniac.  It doesn’t have to make sense.  It doesn’t have to look good.  But if you’re sitting in the corner make sure that you “draw attention to yourself, but in a good way.”  It’s in the rulebook.  Everyone likes a guy that laughs at himself.  No one likes the cool guy that thinks it’s nice to go to prom and think about how that girl just dumped him and he’ll never love again.  A) it makes you weak.  B) it makes you dumb.  Party on.

  • 3. Keep it real… While keeping it safe.  Nothing looks worse on a dude than horizontal white and orange.  It’s not slimming and the orange really makes everyone just look jaundice. 

Looking forward to seeing everyone at the end of season party.  Remember it’s Prom, but even better.  Because you aren’t renting a limo and your date doesn’t have headgear.  Oh, and ladies…. I’ll be taking applications for permission to ask me to be your date starting at the end of next week.  100 words or less, please..

Peace and Love,

Grant “My Rambling Even Annoys Myself” McClendon

GUIDE TO 80s MUSIC:

So, you gotta get in the right frame of mind to totally appreciate all that the 80s prom has to offer. And what better way to achieve this than jammin’ out to the best rock to ever grace this earth. Yes, the aural pleasures brought to us by the leather pant wearing GODS of rock, best known as “hair bands”. I’m sure your parents jammed the Motley Crue, Whitesnake, and Poison…Hell, your mom might have had an autographed CeCe Deville head shot.. No? Guess that’s just me.
But that’s besides the point..Alas, here’s a totally rad playlist..guaranteed to make you wish you could be as cool as Bret Micheals.
  • 1. Whitesnake: “Here I Go Again”
  • 2. Motley Crue: “Wild Side”
  • 3. Poison: “Nothin But a Good Time”
  • 4. Def Leppard: “Pour Some Sugar on Me”
  • 5. Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the Jungle”…basically the entire ‘Appetite for Destruction’ album
  • 6. Skid Row ( who didn’t have a crush on Sebastian Bach?): “Here I Am”
  • 7. KISS: any and all of their glory
  • 8. Motley Crue: “Dr. Feelgood”
  • 9. Quiet Riot: “Cum on Feel the Noise”
  • 10.  Tesla: “Love Song”
  • 11. Van Halen: “Panama”
  • 12. Warrant: “Cherry Pie”
  • 13. Bon Jovi: “Livin’ on a Prayer’
  • 14. Twisted Sister: “We’re Not Gonna Take It”… (Dee Snyder never does)
So, put those little gems on your IPOD and prepare to have your mind blown. It’s best enjoyed in the company of a sixer of Bud..and maybe a can of Aqua Net.

PITCH N MOAN

So normally we are a pretty low-keyed, laid back type of peeps , but this
week we felt the need and urge to come out a bit and express ourselves in a
GMOT kinda way.   The Pitches suffered another defeat last night at the
hands of Who’s on First.  Everything seemed in our favor, with Chris
scoring the only run in the game (Kudos to you).  All was well in the world
(birds chirping and little people high fiving each other in the background)
when out of the blue……(dark clouds emersing) the ref yells SAFE…..

It was all down hill from there
We’re just sayin..

Andy started off his thunder pitches with some swagga (too bouncy, ANDY!!).
A few beers and mystery drinks later, he began to see those little dudes
from the Wizard of Oz.  Maybe he was daydreaming or rehearsing his upcoming
part in a low budget Wizard of Oz play (FYI…….I do believe Snelson and
Oakley will be partaking also).  Whatever the case was (we don’t know and
are afraid to ask), His BALLS went wild.

To make matters worse, our fearless pitcher almost got his ass kicked by
what kinda looked like

A few balls were missed and mistakes were made, but overall it was an
interesting night.

Special shout out to our Kickball peeps who played some post game flip cup
with the Moaners!
Happy Drinking to All and to All a Good Night!!

We are Pitch N Moan Motha fuckas!

Relax and Let it Happen

*FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T KNOW, WE GAVE WALK-A-SHAME, CAPTAINED BY ANDRE, A 5 POINT LEAD AT THE BEGINNING OF THE GAME*

Andre, everyone wants you to be quiet, including Uncle Sam. He’s for free speech and all, but even he has his limits.

If you want to stay out of trouble, here are five things you don’t do:

1. You don’t go camping with Smokey the Bear and tell him how cool you think forest fires look.
2. You don’t go to prison and not expect to get your brown star played with.
3. You don’t slip a Slurpee crazy fast and not expect to get a brain freeze.
4. You don’t forget to courtesy flush when you’re droppin’ bombs over at your bf or gf’s house.
5. YOU DON’T TALK NOISE ABOUT RELAX AND LET IT HAPPEN AND EXPECT TO GET AWAY WITH IT.

I used the caps to denote importance. Are you ever gonna go camping with Smokey? No, mostly because he’s not real. He’s a spokesbear, ok? Let’s get real. I just used numbers 1-4 to lead up to #5. We’re really good, especially when we’re playing our rules (5th in the Nation). Most of the time you see us playing, we’re joking around and having a good time. But, when we heard that there was a challenge, and that someone thought they actually had a chance to beat us, you get 100% from us. Which, unfortunately, is 100% better than every other team’s 100%. We did the math. And then David’s dick double checked it (that’s for you Joey).

We started the game down 5 runs, and we ended up winning 12-5. They came close to scoring, but our superior athletic abilities cut them down at home plate twice. I brag a lot, but believe me when I say I had one of the best games of my life. I also had two cool slides at home plate. They couldn’t handle Jay’s pitching and the overall team speed that we brought to the mesa. Whitney, Devon, Shannon, and Nicole proved that hot bitches can play some kickball. Shout out to Devon for her catch. BWALK!!! was back to his old ways…getting on base and quietly talking shit and saying inappropriate things that you feel bad for laughing at.

If you ever act like we’re not the 5th best team in the world, you will have no choice but to Relax and Let it Happen.

I’D KICK THAT

The Week that Was

Ok so I didn’t right a blog last week, but in my defense, last Thursday was a blur for me, too much pregame. I’m pretty sure we lost and I could put some blame out there, but considering he just got a body part ripped out of him as it became it became inflamed, I’ll lay off. Get better P.

Unfortunately, Monday night didn’t go much better for us. Thanks to two late cancelations we started a female short and had to recruit a ringer from the sidelines to defend the plate. She did a great job blocking some of still with appendix P, but we had other defensive problems that hurt us. Namely dropping a big red ball. Then again, we had two innings in which we recorded 4 outs.  I think that should have rolled over like AT&T into the next innings, but that idea was shot down by the man.  Personally, I had one of my better games and I wont bore you with the details (HR, 2 RBI’s, an unassisted double play).  Heading into the final inning we found ourselves down 6-2 and started to storm back rallying to a 6-4 deficit with two on before falling.  The real highlight came for me, when after the game the ump screamed for the next game, “Sit on my face in the field.”  Glorious, there just aren’t too many scenarios where you can scream that in public and not be sued for sexual harassment.

Heading into last night we had lost our way, losing 3 straight.  Luckily for us the schedule makers set us up against team Kicktease.  This team had a couple of athletes, but also had a couple of guys who looked like their due date was last Tuesday, needless to say we felt we had a chance.  The game started as a defensive struggle.  We had first ups and Brian had a nice double, then got greedier the Bernie Madoff and went for a triple and was promptly thrown out.  Nick got on base and it was up to me to bring him home.  I took the second pitch straight into the air to the center fielder, who didn’t have to move to make the catch.  I came back to the bench and received a kick in the butt (literally) from our captain who asked me what the hell I was doing.  The encouragement is deafening on our squad, more on our fearless leader is coming however.

With P out because of said surgery we needed to bring in a new pitcher.  I’m sure we could’ve had one of our guys step it up, but we had future PBA star Tyler sitting at home.  A year ago he would come onto the field (so I’m told) with “Enter Sandman” blaring Mariano Rivera style, minus the Panamanian heritage.  Tyler had everything working, the cutter, curve, speed roller, it was all gold.

The top of the third Ben lead off with a shot and was headed home for the first run of the game.  Somehow the Kickteasers got the ball in and made a desperation heave towards the plate which the ump, who I believe was temperally blinded by the fake beard he was wearing (which made him look like he belonged in a cave in Waziristan), said hit Ben before he crossed the plate.  It was argued, as almost every call that went against us was, to no avail.

So we head to the fourth, still hopelessly deadlocked in a pair of breasts minus the nipples.  This is when we broke through.  Alicia lead off with a single and quickly Brian brought her around to score with a double and avoided his Gordon Gekko desires and stayed on second.  Nick then got a hit and there were two on who were swiftly brought home by my right foot.  Claudia brought me around to score and the rout was on.  In all we scored 5 runs in the inning and that was more than enough for our new ace.

Highlights/Lowlights:

-Perhaps the play of the year, Bottom 5 we are three outs away from breaking the streak.  Tyler on the mound to shut it down and the first kicker sends a low liner straight back to the mound. With out hesitation Tyler makes the one handed catch keeping his cigarette secure in the other, takes a puff, and there was one out.

-Ah, for said captain, what a game indeed. Not only did he piss off the ump to no end with his non-stop complaints to the point that some team members were calling for his ejection (I’m competitive too, but geez, lighten up Terry) but, he flied out twice and showed his magnificent skills as a third base coach.  With one out and sprint champion (really) Sudie on third Terry refused to send her on a ground ball. No big deal, up 5-0, still one out to go.  Then with two outs and a BASE HIT he keeps her on.  Needless to say the team will be putting someone else at third to handle sending or holding the runners.

Link(s) of the week, there were three games so here is a nice little back and forth from a couple of nights ago.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/11/jon-stewart-catches-sean_n_353447.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/12/hannity-jon-stewart-was-r_n_354887.html

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-november-12-2009/sean-hannity-apologizes-to-jon

Until next week.

TYRANNICAL TEABAGGERS



Another week, another 2 wins in the books.  Now, the showdown we’ve all been waiting for (in deep monster truck announcer guy voice):

Thursday, Thursday, Thursday!! Teabaggers.  Relax. 1 vs 2. Good vs evil.  Winners vs losers.

That’s right folks, we finally get our shot at the world-beaters.  I know I’ve personally been looking forward to this matchup for a long time, and it should be a fun one.  So after your game ends or before it begins, come on over, bring some brew, buy some jello shots for the kids, and root on the Teabaggers in our quest to take down the unbeatens.  Hell, even come root against us…just make it rowdy.  And remember, if you find yourself being Teabagged in defeat, just Relax….And Let it Happen.

DONKEY PUNCH

Another week in the life of the most schizophrenic kickball team out there.  Thursday we played our best game possibly ever.  And that wasn’t even with the benefit of the beer goggles, although the Beer View Mirrors were looking good too.  That traffic cone orange is really nice.  The game was six days ago, which is forever.  I just know we rocked it out and I was prouder than a than an Aggie who’d just won first prize at the sheep shearing contest.

And then Monday, well, things didn’t go so well.  I was absent, so without knowing what EXACTLY happened on the field, I’m just going to go ahead and write what I think happened, based on the semi-coherent ramblings of my team.

Colin never made the game, he was abducted by aliens and probed repeatedly.  Glen and Chris couldn’t make it because they are actually sleeper CIA agents and had been activated to carry out a mission in the Brazilian rainforest.  Jen, Jen and Jenn combined into one Supreme Being who for some reason was named “Matilda.”  That’s pretty cool and all, but it left us short fielders. Lisa and Carl tried to lend a veteran presence, but these dang kids nowadays don’t listen to anyone.  And Neil kicked a homerun that is currently orbiting Mars.  I think that’s pretty accurate, yeah?

Congrats Fireballs, you guys punched us fair and square.  Look out Ball Busters, cause now we’re due to come back hot.

WALK OF SHAME

Damn… That was effing terrible. Oh well. We didn’t profess that we would win. We only said that we would merely, “shock the world” and that we were “not scared.” We probably didn’t shock the world, but we definitely weren’t scared. Here are a few lasting thoughts from this game…
*Seriously, having every person bunt on your team everytime is dumb. No one likes it, which is why no one joins Capital, except you guys.
*Relax’s dancing skills are absolutely overrated. We must have been drunk ourselves the first time we watched you shake it. I mean seriously… No Stanky Legg? No “My Dougie” dance? We’ll have to teach you something, sometime.
*What the hell was Joey wearing out there? (By the way, you look like Baby Huey)
*Glad you guys took us seriously enough to actually bring the booze out to the game, that shows us that you actually thought you might lose. We appreciate that… Thank you.
*Also we have compiled a list of sports we know you can’t beat us at….
  1. Basketball
  2. Tennis
  3. Trampoline
  4. Competitive Eating
  5. Sex (It could be a sport…)
  6. Four Square
  7. Poker (It’s on ESPN)
  8. Greco-Roman Wrestling
  9. Judo
  10. Teatherball
That is 10 more ways in which, we know, we are better than you. So go ahead… Have your kickball victory. But in the end our you’ll never be as badass as us. That’s just the hard and simple truth. We’re sorry.
Here at Walk of Shame, it’s birthday season. Every week somebody has one. One of the founders of our little franchise, Kris, had his birthday last week. So we just want to say happy birthday, you’re a slut, and we love you.
We must say, this loss wasn’t without some amazing effort. We won’t ever take one on the ass like this again. We’ll get ’em from here on out. Believe it.
Make no mistake, Walk of Shame will be back and better than ever starting this week. Meet My Meat is next. We’re looking forward to it. Here’s to keeping up our Live winning streak!

RED ROCKETS

See full size image

Well last week was a valiant effort in a 7-6 loss with nine players.  Definitely the first time I have seen the secret kicking order of Meet my meat and a Scottish man pitching in his kilt.  Well put another shrimp on the barbie, eh? However, our makeup game this Monday was impressive with an 8-1 win. We have struggled this season WAKA but when our team shows watch out because we will shoot our rockets all over the field. Field 3 is the real kickball deal with dugouts and a backstop, so official and so nice, me gusta.

Play of the week… Some guy did a very awkward looking running jumping backwards throw from outfield and landed with his own heal going up his butt as he let out a back arch and look on his face verifying that yes the foot definitely made insertion, sweet play whoever you are!

2 IN THE PINK

Our extensive research indicates that kegs = fun . Last season, our signature game involved a keg and the teabaggers. This year, it involved a keg and well hung over. Both were epic… but as with any team, we have matured and developed our strategy.  This year involved garbage bag capes, flip cup, sparkly headbands, drinking gloves, a braiding competition, nipple tassels oi oi oi and chugging half a beer from the keg before you ran the bases. The pictures below reflect the absolute Glory of Two in the Pink.


Pearl of Wisdom from TITP,
Todd:  “Doesnt matter how you get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  All that matters is you beat the leprechaun”

WHERE MY PITCHES AT?

‘Pitches’ lost (barely) to the Livers last week. Despite the Pitches’ valiant efforts and the amazing healing powers of the fannypacks..we inevitably lost the game. This week we’re up against Weapons of Mass Consumption… I hope they’re ready for mass destruction..because that’s what’s coming. So heads up WMC, the Pitches, Chewie, and the FPs are coming…

Skeletor will be serving up a nice heaping portion of Defeat to the WMC tonight…check it yo.

Prost!

‘Pitches’

SIT ON MY BASE

Sit On My Base gives Rubber Balls and Liquor a shot in the ass.
What a game!!! All 15 players on this team contributed to our big W. Fun was had by all especially when vodka and pickle juice shots are involved.
We also apologize for contributing to the noise level. However, you must admit airhorns are AWESOME!

Fall 2009 Standings_wk6M

Damn… That was effing terrible. Oh well. We didn’t profess that we would win. We only said that we would merely, “shock the world” and that we were “not scared.” We probably didn’t shock the world, but we definitely weren’t scared. Here are a few lasting thoughts from this game…
*Seriously, having every person bunt on your team everytime is dumb. No one likes it, which is why no one joins Capital, except you guys.
*Relax’s dancing skills are absolutely overrated. We must have been drunk ourselves the first time we watched you shake it. I mean seriously… No Stanky Legg? No “My Dougie” dance? We’ll have to teach you something, sometime.
*What the hell was Joey wearing out there? (By the way, you look like Baby Huey)
*Glad you guys took us seriously enough to actually bring the booze out to the game, that shows us that you actually thought you might lose. We appreciate that… Thank you.
*Also we have compiled a list of sports we know you can’t beat us at….
  1. Basketball
  2. Tennis
  3. Trampoline
  4. Competitive Eating
  5. Sex (It could be a sport…)
  6. Four Square
  7. Poker (It’s on ESPN)
  8. Greco-Roman Wrestling
  9. Judo
  10. Teatherball
That is 10 more ways in which, we know, we are better than you. So go ahead… Have your kickball victory. But in the end our you’ll never be as badass as us. That’s just the hard and simple truth. We’re sorry.
Here at Walk of Shame, it’s birthday season. Every week somebody has one. One of the founders of our little franchise, Kris, had his birthday last week. So we just want to say happy birthday, you’re a slut, and we love you.
We must say, this loss wasn’t without some amazing effort. We won’t ever take one on the ass like this again. We’ll get ’em from here on out. Believe it.
Make no mistake, Walk of Shame will be back and better than ever starting this week. Meet My Meat is next. We’re looking forward to it. Here’s to keeping up our Live winning streak!
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