WAKA Week – 6

August 6, 2009

Check out more pictures from Week 6 here. Merkins, raunchy shirts, you know, the usual kickball entertainment.



Picture 6

My Kickball Peeps:

After two long weeks of being an enigmatic and mysterious Prez, I shall make my triumphant return to kickball this Thursday.  I’m looking to renting a horse for such an occasion but I’ll probably just drive the same pick em up truck that I’ve been rocking since I was 16.  Yes… I know that was 9 years ago… No, I don’t care how pathetic that sounds.

I hope all of you have had a wonderful time in kickball land in my absence.  I know I was completely miserable thinking that I was without kickball, flip cup, getting yelled at while reffing and seeing your smiling faces.

Because I’m a ninja and I’m tuned in to the powers of the universe, I thought I would provide you all with your horoscope for this week.  Please read and enjoy.

Aries- You will notice a burning desire to paint all of your skin green and stand behind the weather man as he makes his B.S. predictions.

Taurus- At least once this week a bird will fly into your car.  Don’t worry, you will have the opportunity to poo on it while it rests gingerly in the shade.

Gemini- Your laundry pile will appear to speak to you while you are changing in the morning.  Do not worry.  That is simply Pee Wee Herman spying on you.

Cancer- While you can’t explain the urge to pee so often, you are strangely thankful that it does not burn quite so much anymore.

Leo- A dog will run across your path three times with a pink ribbon in its mouth.  Then it will hump your leg.  Sorry, Leo.

Virgo- A long lost friend will visit you unexpected.  And stay way too long.  And eat all your food. And upper deck your toilet.  That friend is hot.  You don’t care.

Libra- Driving will seem much more difficult and you will feel unfocused and unalert.  You are drunk.  And riding a unicycle.  Idiot.

Scorpio- Ben Affleck will seem charming again.  Matt Damon untalented.  It will be opposite day.

Sagittarius- You will make a perfect “that’s what she said joke” to a feminist.  She will kick you.  Hard. You will cry.  And she’ll laugh.  You will be me.  Everyday of my life.

Capricorn- You will encounter a man in a long trench coat with running shoes and ankle socks.  Do NOT say you would like to see his “watches for sale.”

Aquarius- Someone of the opposite sex will compliment you on your persona.  They want to sleep with you.  This should be obvious.

Pisces- Bums will not even look at you as they approach your window.  The blood on the hood and the sign that says “I Kill People I don’t Know” will only be part of the reason.



August 1st, 2009 is a day that will live in infamy. Not only was it the largest, most successful kickball party we’ve had to date, but it was also the MOST OFFENSIVE.  That is no small feat. As you veterans know, there have been some pretty offensive goings on. Spin the bottle on the boat, random blind pig hookups, finding yourself naked on a roof… wait. Forget that part. Anyway, I am going to have to let the pictures speak for themselves.   In them you’ll see a prince dance off, blow up doll porn, allusions to STDs, bigamy, blasphemy, on stage dancing with a bloody baby and a hell of a lot of sweat.


Suffice to say I am quite appalled and amazed how completely incredibly inappropriate you are. Well played WAKA, well played.

View WAKA’s innapropriate t-shirters at your own risk.. (once link opens, click ‘slideshow’)



Hello Flip-cuppers,

This week was our exhibition week because your trusty ref was off learning how to wage the war against cybercrime. We had some scheduling conflicts with other subs, so Cameron and I decided to forego scoring during week 6. All games will run as scheduled this week at THE FIELD! We’ll play under the trees by the bleachers. So come out for that friendly drinking competition that you love!! Afterwards head to Jovita’s for the usual drink and food specials, minus the flipcup. Don’t mess with Texas.

Regular reminders for this week: Please bring enough beer for your team before you get to the table. As always, I’ll be trying to keep the games going. Keep an ear out for me yelling out team names. I’m short, so you may hear me coming before you see me.

Keep the beer flowin’ and the cups flippin’…
~ Jen


live flip

capt flip


And on the fields

live field

capt field


Relax and Let it Happen

Seeing that we are a dynasty, there are two types of teams that we face. The first type is the team that is just happy to be on the same field as us. They are in awe, and they usually can’t help but to marvel at our athletic mastery and grace. They take pictures, ask for autographs, and one girl asked me to “caress her body all the way down.”

The second type of team wants to beat you more than anything. They practice extensively before games, talk shit to boost their collective self-esteems, and, believe it or not, believe that they can beat us. Liver Let Die is one of these teams. They are an excellent team with a lot of veterans, but they ran into the Dream Team of kickball. You see, we didn’t play up to our abilities in our win last week against Walk of Shame (I heard ya’ll lost AGAIN this week?). So I guess we took it out on Liver Let Die.

We beat them 12-1. It was nothing short of a massacre. I mean, we usually beat lesser teams like that, but not a team like Liver Let Die who actually thinks they can beat us. Shout out to Ryan Logue, who kept mentioning how much he wished he could play as though it would’ve made a difference. Later, we all thought about it and had a good laugh amongst ourselves. Sometimes, I still think back on it while sitting in my study and laugh so hard that I shit myself. Which isn’t a good thing, considering I don’t have any toilet paper in there. I just have to walk around with mud butt all day.

Our girls continued to be more athletic and prettier than yours. Shannon had a pretty cool catch out at shortstop on a line drive up the middle. It reminded me of “The Catch” by forty-niner great Dwight Clark. Nicole, Whitney, and Katie were unstoppable at the plate and on the bases. They didn’t have to do too much on the field because Jay’s pitching prowess was shutting shit down like Mark Buerhle. BWalk!!!, who’s bday was the day before our game, sobered up long enough to turn in another great game. Jim and David are getting better every game, and Joey and I continued to do things others wish they could do. We’ll play Liver Let Die again, and I’m sure they’ll play better. Maybe we’ll beat them 12-2 next time.

If you ever turn a corner and find yourself surrounded by a bunch of good looking athletic people in light blue shirts, just Relax and Let it Happen.


IiKick MG_0177We may not be first in kickball standings, we may not be first in the flip cup standings, but by golly did we outshine the competition in the inappropriate t-shirt contest. I knew our team was totally inappropriate. Congrats to “Fag-o-meter,” “Deer in the Headlights,” and “Abstinence, 99.9% effective”.
Donning Santa gear, iKickballs was hoping for Xmas in July by unwrapping a “W” in the win column. Things looked pretty bleak as Santa placed us on the naughty list, and filled Dunder’s stockings with 3 runs in the first inning. If that wasn’t bad enough, Santa full on incapacitated our short stop, “Tiny Tim” style, crutch and all. I’m pretty sure he even went so far as to pull down his jolly pants and mooned some of our players, causing temporary blindness and a couple dropped balls, his and some kickballs.

Xmas would not be lost, however. T.J., cursing the white bearded he-devil known as Saint Nick, tossed the Santa hat to the ground, shouting “long live Chanukkah!” and started the rally back to respectability, scoring the first run for our side.

A few innings of great pitching and defense from both sides, including spectacular catches from Drake of the Jungle, Adam of the Nine Fingers, and Jeremy being Jeremy. The Dunder pitcher  made an amazing catch that was called a trap, but was so spectacular he should have gotten the call. He dug down so far to get it, when he came up, it looked like he came out of a coal mine.

Other great plays during that scoring drought, but definitely worth mentioning included some great hits by Carly and Rachel and what could possibly be the first swinging strikeout in Waka history by the mighty Kai. When you swing for the fences you have to put all you got into it.

Katie, purchased some colorful jello shots that sparkled like Xmas lights. These were knocked back like figgy pudding and we were ready to roll out the last inning.

A nice last inning rally featured the first iKickballs inside the park home run by Steven “the Foot” Crosley followed by a triple by Chris “Dick in the Box” Neumann who thankfully waited till he got home to unwrap his gift. A well placed kick by Rachel to third scored the tying run. Take that Satan, I mean Santa.

Another tough loss at flip cup. Thanks Dunder for buying the beers, you stay classy.

Join us next week as hopefully Tommy Bahama will be on our side, aka Ugly Shirt Thursday.


Baby Jesus

Buddy Jesus

I can’t think of an adequate description for the game last week.  There was trash talking.  Boobs.  Tears.  And that was just during rock-paper-scissors.  When the dust had settled and the final out was recorded, Baby Jesus had pulled off a completely expected, non-upset, besting Walk of Shame 2-0.  (FYI Andre, if both teams have the same record coming in, it isn’t an upset.)

There were kudos galore to give out.  Mike was 2-2 from the leadoff spot with an RKI and scored the eventual winning run.  Sean again used his eight-foot wingspan to snare an errant throw and thwart a rally.  Kia made several catches in left and Miya brought the beer and the trash talking at catcher.  Aimie helped us out and robbed a hit.

Runnerup for MVP was Colin, dude robbed Andre of a two-run homer in the 1st, over the shoulder OchoCinco style.  Then with two outs in the bottom, drove in a run.  Clutch.  Don’t forget the rocking hairstyle.

Without a doubt, MVP was Zach.  Where to begin?  Shutout.  Scored for the first time in I can’t remember, but that’s his own fault for being married.  And with the other team intentionally trying to kick at him, responded with several nifty plays including pegging out the final runner.  Sure he hit a girl, but whatever, a win is a win.

Lookout y’all, Baby Jesus has figured it all out.  Sure it took six weeks, but whatever, it’s all about finishing strong.

Hallelujah Amen.

Liver Let Die Picture
Liver vs. Relax.  We came, we saw, we got our @sses handed to us.  We tried hard, too.  We had a lot of great plays that game.  I guess it’s easier to have a lot of great plays when you get the ball kicked to you over and over again.
Anyway, we had an amazing story this past Thursday.  John got his proverbial cherry popped.  He’s been patiently waiting for someone, anyone, to kick him the ball in outfield.  Finally, his day came.  Two catches.  No more virgin status.

In the first inning Relax scored 3 runs before Phrog caught 2 balls from behind the plate and Patrick caught the one to right center.  Three runs down….no problem.  Or so we thought.  Our bat.  First runner on, second runner on, third runner on.  No outs and bases loaded.  Right where we want to be.  Well, Jay’s pitching proved to be too much for our next two batters.  Up comes Holloway…..2 outs and bases loaded.  Damn if she didn’t kick in a run!  Our only run of the game I might add.  Thanks Holloway!

Carrie Walton was everywhere.  She made an amazing catch in right field.  Damn near kicked a perfect one down the left field line only to be called foul.  Don’t even get me starting on the questionable calls of the game.  To give Relax 4 or 5 outs an inning hurts.  I know, I know.  The refs don’t get paid and they’re doing their best.  I’m just saying.
Congrats to Relax for keeping their unblemished record.  We will continue the early morning practices and wind sprint training until we beat you!!!  Be afraid!


Sit on my Monster

TREMBLE with fear, mortals!  After a thousand strange aeons, that dreaded beast SIT ON MY BASE has again awoken from its unholy slumber.   SEE it as it rains down unmerciful carnage on the kickball field!  SCREAM IN TERROR as it singlehandedly lays waste to Steven Segal’s Dunder Seige!  HIDE YOUR FRIGHTENED EYES as it ravenously devours the lifeless carcass of Baby Jesus!  Hold your date close and SHIT YOUR FUCKING PANTS as it dethrones the previously undefeated Tyrannical Teabaggers!  Is there any force on Earth that can stop this abhorrent monstrosity now that is has been unleashed?  Or will its reign of terror, unchecked alcohol consumption and loud, bawdy conversation continue?  Only Thursday will tell…

Until then, keep the cattle in the corral, lock up your sons and daughters, and pray that this malevolent insanity will choose another for its victim.  THIS SUMMER …  NO ONE IS SAFE.  Prepare yourself to…


Parents strongly cautioned.


Where My Pitches At?


This past week, the ‘Pitches” beat the Freebasers (again). Guess whatever they’re “cooking” isn’t as strong as they say it is…baha.

Few Highlights from the game, i had to live vicariously through my team..since I was stuck working in Amarillo…

There was apparently a run-in on second, with Todd’s glasses being broken..shame, shame..
E-money scored two runs, she’d like to thank the Wheaties she ate for breakfast that morning.

WMPA_erin's wheaties

Ginger magic made some good plays, and good job to all the outfielders as well…keep it up.

Unfortunately Prez Logue couldn’t get his ass kicked at flip cup..something about a Star Wars convention he had to attend later that night….


Watch out this week as the Pitches are bringin’ the heat and badass-ness yet again…and yes, the fannypack will be back. And as always, the beer will be flowing…



Someone was going to get a “W” for the first time this season for their team.  This was not meant to be for the XXX-Men, for our meager squad of ten players was no match for the mighty grouping of Toe Blasters and suffered our worst pounding this season, 11-0.  However, the XXX-Men did not despair, as we knew our skills would be put to better use at our favorite sport… that’s right, Flip Cup, bitches!

flip cup

XXX-Men Flip Cup Allstars Archanal and Shadowclit were out for the game (Shadowclit was off representing WAKA in full uniform at the Fat Bottomed Girls Dance Off, shaking her money maker all the way to a WIN),

Fat Bottomed Girls

So Weapon Sex, Lady Breastrike, Dickpool, and Creamy Cat came together (sex pun… ZING!) to help another Flip Cup novice, Whore Path, hone her gent and lady lovin’ skills to become another valuable asset to the team.  And she did not disappoint, as the team again had to “come from behind” to get the win.

And congrats to Creamy Cat for her amazing representation at the Inappropriate T-shirt Party on Saturday, landing second place for the best inappropriate shirt. She’s got a lovely Texas Pair, wanna hold ’em?

Creamy Cat

So while we still remain in the basement in kickball, we’re confident that we could come on top of any team in the league in Flip Cup.  Wait.. I mean, Come OUT on..!

iKickballs, your balls are next on our list… get ready. Despite all our losses, our team is full of win!

Love, the XXX-Men


Technicality paid us a BIG compliment by changing up their kicking line-up so they could beat us.  So yeah, you could say we lost by a technicality ; )

Tshirt party was a Blast!  Thanks for all your hard work to put it together!


Booze On First


Week 6 brought about a big W for the Boozers as we schooled the new kids from Technicality.

Now, I could go on to talk serious $hit about the purple team switching around their crumpled post-it lineup (in both games)… or how the majority of the opposition refused to give a good-sportsmanship high-five to my team.. or how one of their dogs was allowed to $hit in the middle of left-field… Wait. Eff it.

I give you, History’s Infamous Cheaters:




Whew… that felt grrrreat. Anyway, after a nice W and sweaty team huddle to send Kate (1 run!) off from her last WAKA Austin game.. I stepped in a huge pile of steaming crap. FAIL. Not cool purple Barney team.. NOT. COOL.

We reiterated our win again with our skilled ‘one and done’ flipcup team. IT FEELS SO GOOD!

Our MVP on the field was, hands down, Adam “Is There Anyone Else On The Field But Me?” Steinbacher. Nothing got past him. And everything was kicked his way.

This week, KickopotamosX ( Field 4 @ 7:30)… “hip…hip hop…hip hop annonymous!”



freebasing cookie monster

What can we say. We blew it. The hoppers must be cutting the package with baking soda or sour cream or something. Cause the Freebasers ain’t getting their high these days. Especially this week. More baseheads missing in action, and way too many mistakes. And thanks to a shitty economy, lay offs have now left one of our key fiends as a fugitive exiled from Austin.

There was one glaring highlight from last week though…Leigh straight up face planted and slid head-first, penguin style on her way to first base. And props to the Bird for popping up and still waddling her way to touch the base before brushing the dust off her shoulder. Bravo, Leigh. Bravo.

The game’s the game. Win or get got.


Big LeBALLski


Here is our gmot for last week, literally put in just like this:

me:  bummer.  I have to do a write up for kickball…
katie:  well…
the game was quick and dirty
we played flip-cup before hand and won
there was 2 mostlly naked men playing frisbee and that was distracting
one of them had on leopard
i got out at second, but only because i over ran the base and he touched me
that’s about all i remember
it was hot and muggy.

Apparently we won 4-1.  Lost at flip cup at Jovitas.  Our first loss of any kind this entire season.
Big Leballski’s got a big one coming up this week.  Will pray to any and all god’s for strong legs and sticky hands.

See ya Thursday.

Dear League,


“But we’re working on it.”

Heartbroken and Full of Shame,

The Walks.

Walk OF Shame


Smirkin Merkins

scary merkin

Hi Fellow WAKAns:

Let’s play a little game… What did NOT occur this week at the Smirkin’ Merkins Game?

1.       Edward 32oz Hands

2.       Giant Jenga

3.       Interpretive Dance

4.       Grilled Smores

5.       Survivor Flip Cup

6.       Dorito Dogs

7.       Pink Feather Thong Merkin

8.      Vodka Cocktails being Drunk out of a dog bowl

9.       Merkins as Eye Patch

10.   Mooning

11.    2 run ins with APD.

12.    Edward 32oz Hands

13.    Giant Jenga

14.    Grilled Smores

15.    Survivor Flip Cup

16.    Dorito Dogs

17.    Pink Feather Thong Merkin

18.   Vodka Cocktails being Drunk out of a dog bowl

19.    Merkins as Eye Patch

20.   Interpretive Dance

21.    Mooning

22.   2 run ins with APD.

Answer: #4 Survivor Flip Cup! We just played lots of rounds of normal flip… Survivor flip cup is slated for THIS week! Natch.

Here are the pics to back it up:

What Didn't Happen Long


Thanks for a great Week 6 kickballers!

See yall on the fields tonight:



WAKA Austin – Week 5

July 30, 2009

 flippy cup



Hello Flip-cuppers,

So week 5 was a success!! Thank you so much to Miss Kelly Stocker for helping us get the games started this week while I played my 9:00 game! Everyone looked like they were having a great time…including me who had a few more than usual…

Referee’s picks of the week: XXX Men vs 40 Bounces to Freedom!! Bounces started off strong with a 2-0 lead, but then the porno-heroes of WAKA won three in a row for an exciting “come from behind”!! Hee hee… couldn’t resist…

So…ALAS! I will be missing kickball this week. I’m attending a “Digital Self Defense” (anti-hacking) conference in Vegas and I won’t be back until the wee hours of Friday morning. I’ll try to head to O’Sheas and flip a few cups for my Austin kickballers. I have full confidence in my fellow board members in my absence. If you would like to lend a hand to rotate out with other refs as needed, please contact Lacy our GMOT editor. If you have any comments or concerns, you can contact me at my email listed on the website. See you all in Week Seven!!!

Keep the beer flowin’ and the cups flippin’…

~ Jen


Picture 4

Picture 5


Tx Live Summer 2009 Standings

Picture 2

Picture 3



xxx-men ball

Week 5 has come and gone and the XXX-Men are still winless in kickball (no, we’re not counting that forfeit as a win; apparently, the TxLive Standings aren’t counting it either).  Regardless, we put up a valiant effort this week as we entered into a double-header vs. the 40s: 40 Bounces to Freedom and 40 Ounces to Victory.  After being shut out 3-0 in the first game, the XXX-Men rebounded to start the second game with two runs in the first inning, thanks to a kick by Shadowclit and some awesome base running from SliceMan and Professor XXX.  Sadly, a win was not to be as there were some errors on offense and defense, leading to a 3-2 loss.  Nonetheless, Professor XXX, SliceMan, Shadowclit, Moneyshot, Creamy Cat, Whore Path, Sabrecooch, Archanal, Rhogue, Dickpool, Cocklossus, and Lady Breastrike all put on admirable performances and had one hell of a time doing it (PUN INTENDED).  Besides, we’ve found a new passion in life…


Ever since we got pantsed by Baby Jesus, 3-0, Week Two in Flip Cup, it has been our team mission to built the most excellent Flip Cup team Austin has ever seen.  Flip Cup masters Weapon Sex and Archanal brought novices Shadowclit, Lady Breastrike, Creamy Cat, and Dickpool under their wings to show them the way.  We pulled our mutant sex powers together to realize that all Flip Cup requires is two basic sex skills: please a gent, then gently please a lady.  Gender equality, FTW!  Since then, the XXX-Men have gone UNDEFEATED in Flip Cup, shutting out “Bobcats, Pumas, and Dogs” in Week 4 and “40 Ounces to Victory” in Week 5.  We had two battles to the bitter end with our BFFs “Hannah Montana’s Sex Tape” and “40 Bounces to Freedom”, having to come back from an 0-2 deficit from the latter match-up (thank you to Sweet Cheeks from HMST and Jen for cheering us on!).

xxx-men victory


Fun fact: Week 5 XXX-Men scores for kickball – 0-3, 2-3; scores for flip cup – 3-2, 3-0.  All balances out, wouldn’t you say?


Love, the XXX-Men

xxx-men team




What a game. Our best yet! Think it might have been the hats, but we may never know (until next game).

 MVP of the game – the guy at Jovita’s who saved our team $1000 in towing fees! You will forever be an honorary member of iKickballs!

Other highlights:
Brandon’s Speedy Gonzales-like moves to score our first run of the game early on.
Marvin the Martian & Sheriff Tim’s killer pitches.
The entire defensive lineup for cool catches and thrilling throws and looking mighty fine in the process.

marvin the martiansanta


Baby Jesus

Buddy Jesus
The battle between good and evil was revisited last week.  Baby Jesus, embodying all that is right and pure in the world versus Sit on my Base, the ancient and evil foe.  It was a back and forth game.  And by back and forth I mean they jumped on us in the first inning and led the entire way.  They smacked us around like we were Rhianna, it was pretty bad.  Just goes to show you that it really is okay to be evil.  It a bunch of folks can beat up a baby and not get any repercussions, think what you can get away with!One special note:  Mad props to Glen for recording an honest to goodness strikeout of Lisa in the game.  Boo yah!


Relax and Let it Happen


Did the above picture make you yawn? If not, you could’ve watched us play Walk of Shame this week.

No offense, but here are 5 things that are more exciting than playing Live rules:

1. Standing in line at the DMV.
2. Playing Wii Tennis against a dog.
3. Raking leaves.
4. Pooping.
5. Awkward conversations with people you haven’t seen since high school.

With this being said, Walk of Shame did their best to make it entertaining. They are a veteran squad with a lot of polished players. I would love to see them play in the Capital league at some point, because they would be pretty good. We’d still dominate them, though. The game was tied at 1 after we played 5 innings (yawn) so we had to go into extras. At this point, our superior athletic ability and will to win enabled us to secure the victory. It was one of our best efforts, but a win is a win.

If you come to your senses and realize your pants are around your ankles and you have no idea where you are. Remember, relax and let it happen.


Big LeBALLskis

This week was definitely a girl power kind of week! We had 6 girls and 4 boys and still managed to beat a good team, iKickballs.  Our valiant Captain was in Cleveland (that’s in Ohio) on business, and honestly it was a little scary without him…. But never fail The Big LaBALLski’s stepped up.  We came back in the bottom of the 4th with a few great kicks and some aggressive base running. Good job you guys!! Moving on to flip cup… Total and utter DOMINATION.. as usual. Done and Done,  Over and Out, 4-10!


 40 Bounces to Freedom


Picture 1

Can you solve the puzzle above?


Booze on First






The Boozers



Liver Let Die Picture

Well played team! The 9pm games are a challenge on so many levels. You’re supposed to stay sober enough to kick home runs and make all the catches. Right. It’s kickball. With Thursday happy hours and the end of the work week in sight we’re well into our first six-pack or a few margaritas by then.

First up to bat and first man down is Jake. Sorry ‘bout the shoulder. It’s a pity, too, because it was a perfect kick and he would have been safe. Unfortunately Jake’s legs outran the rest of his body and he stumbled onto his arm dislocating his shoulder. Luckily our coach had those special pills to make the pain bearable and flip cup possible for him.

The game got a little scary when Kickopotototoissusss…. (sp) charged back to take a 4-3 lead. However, our defense shut them down and we made some impressive offensive plays and had some great pitching to take the win.

We are starting to get some fabulous offense rolling. I like it. Offensive players of the game –> Kealey and Justin. Best catch goes to Denise. John is still waiting for his first catch.  No one has been brave enough to kick it to him. I dare you!



Walk OF Shame

In what could be billed as the biggest interleague pissing contest in WAKA history, Walk of Shame squared off against it’s foes from the Capital division, Relax…And Let it Happen. This was the epic first encounter of these two teams. Both teams have been in the league the same number of seasons but never crossed paths until now. And it was more than worth the wait. Many teams heard the screams from miles away. That was Dre trying to will his team to the improbable victory. And he almost did. The Walks showed absolutely no fear from the very beginning, playing probably their best defensive game all season long. Frustrated was an understatement to describe the looks on the faces of the Relaxatives, as Kelly from Smirkin’ Mirkins has coined them. They were in utter disbelief in seeing the effort that Shame was shelling out. Relax could not kick the ball, seemingly, anywhere without it being caught. By the 3rd inning the looks on the faces of Relax turned from shock to concern. There was no more smack talk. It was pure silence. They were worried, and it showed. They refused to even play their 1994 rap music on their radio. (Pumps and a Bump!!) They had no runs, and no answers. By the end of the 5th inning, both teams had managed to each throw a run on the board. At the end of regulation, Relax was pushed to their first ever tie-game, by a team that Joey said they would beat “81-13”.  The referee (who also doubles as the president of Capital division) forced the hand of the Walk of Shame captain and made both teams play a tournament style extra inning. Each team was only allowed 8 players. 4 girls and 4 guys.  This kind of tie breaker is usually only reserved for playoffs, but at the end of the night it was Relax who stood tall, winning the game 4-2.

To cover up their fear of losing some members of Relax kept saying things like, “This game is so boring…” It should be noted that there were over 5 other teams watching this game unfold and not one of them, except for the light blue team playing, thought it was boring (The Walks took a straw poll). Walk of Shame agrees partially, it is boring when you cant run up the score and beat up on everyone. We would hate playing us too. The Relaxatives pointed to the fact that the Live rules are boring, and uninteresting. However, 23 other teams in the league disagree with you. Actually, only 3 other teams in the league share your sentiment. So oh well. Members of Walk of Shame shared their thoughts about the game afterwards….

Jorge says: Our defense came through, but they are a great team. They are great sports. Shit was said, but we left everything on the field.

Drea says: I thought the game was very well played. I would have rather taken the tie and left it at that, as I was not part of the ultimate pissing contest known as “the game”. I still think we put up a great defense and everyone on our team is to be commended for their stellar efforts.

Kris says: I didn’t drink enough beer. By the way, since they didn’t beat us in regulation, is Joey playing on our team now? Ruling, please? (Cameron?)

Ethan says: Tie or no tie, it was a great game between two teams stacked with upstanding gentlemen and virtuous ladies. An unfortunate miscommunication may (or may not) have prevented Jorge from finishing the champs off with an in-the-park homer, but either way we came close and have a lot to be proud of. Cheers to Relax for playing the game on our terms, and to our fielding squad for an immaculate defensive effort.

Chris says: I caught 7 balls, and I scored the only run in regulation. I think I should I should clone myself 10 times.

Louis says: They have hot girls.

Dre says: We, too, have hot girls. And we can’t take anything away from them, they’re the champs. But we definitely played just as good as they did today. I love my team more than anything. I think we are ready for anything now. If we play that way each week, we will be hard for any team to handle. Just ask Relax. Now, bring on Baby Jesus!

The Walks do want to take the opportunity to thank Relax for playing us and playing with Live rules. One day, we may even return the favor by playing to a tie with Capital rules. It was a really, really good game. Your team has some great players, and we thinkk you’ll kill it out there in Vegas. And if we didn’t think you guys were anything less than the best team in this entire league, we wouldnt have volunteered to play you and I wouldn’t have been screaming so much. And, we are always open for a rematch. Do you dare play with fire a second time?


40 oz. to Victory

40 oz. to Victory continued their low runs scored, less runs allowed approach to kickball. The XXX-Men had just got done playing a game and started the first hungry, gnawing at our defense and booting the ball all over the field. We were lucky to escape down by two and hit the sidelines to nurse our wounds. We started the second, got a couple runners on base and got them home with a stealthy kick towards the right field line. Overcome with relief that we tied it up, we stranded a couple more runners and headed towards the bottom of the second. The 40oz’ers played some solid D and then couldn’t muster much on the top of the third. In the bottom of the third, the 40 oz.’ers had their biggest scare of the season so far. The XXX-Men got a couple runners on and looked poised to repeat their first inning. Richard came up huge yet again, robbing a kick to right field and running in to tag first base for the unassisted double play. We rejoiced by failing to make any noise on the top of the fourth and shutting down the XXX-Men in the bottom. In the top of the fifth we got a runner on and moved him over while running up a couple outs. Finally, we got what we were waiting for in a big boot to the outfield and another runner across the plate. We’d finally broke past the scoring 2 runs a game habit and kicked in our 3rd run of the game. We took a couple precautions and subbed in some of our more defensive minded players for the bottom of the fifth. The fifth started with a quick out, followed by a XXX’er reaching first. This caused the 40 oz’ers to sweat a bit. We quickly recovered though and put down the second and third outs to mark this one in the win column.

After the game, we celebrated the XXX-Men at the bar and introduced ourselves. They were a great team to play, lots of fun to hang out with and really great people. We won’t talk about the total annihilation we received in flip cup though.



freebasing cookie monster

It sure took long enough. Sometimes the sweet nectar of victory hits your veins the moment you inhale. Sometimes it takes two games to get that high. Unfortunately for this crew of freebasers, it took four games to get high on the win column. Yes, quite pathetic. But we did it. We got our first victory of the season.

What’s crazy is that we’ve scored exactly 3 runs in every game so far. Fortunately, that was enough this past week. Of course, we were playing a team from the Live division, where recreational kickball use is preferred over the hard-core, skin-scratching, cold-sweating, steal from your mother, rob from your neighbor type of kickball fiending that we represent in the Capital division. But while the competition wasn’t as fierce, a win is still a win.

As much as we love bunting, it was fun to just swing away for a game. Everyone did their part early so we could all chase imaginary penguins the rest of the game. BP and EZ held it down in the field, snatching up every fly ball this side of the moon. Fresh off his two week “business trip” with Serbian war criminals, Bayless played like a true basehead. Leigh flew round the bases on her way home with bird-like speed, and LG pulled out her old gymnastics moves from elementary school to avoid being pegged by big red on her way to first base.

All in all, a good outing. Now back to Capital rules for revenge on My Pitches.

The game’s the game. Win or get got.


Tyrannical Teabaggers

 Kickball July23 025

First off, $1 tequila shots + $1 margaritas = bad news for the Teabaggers.  Glorious, true…but still, bad news.  We came out of the gates staggering and slow, giving up a quick couple of runs to those Sexy Pitches.  They deserve some serious credit though, using a combination of well-placed kicks to the backside and good baserunning on some defensive breakdowns to take the early lead.  The view was not as pretty from behind, and some in-team bickering began, not sure exactly what that was about; it could have been our defensive miscues, but more likely it involved something about Dre’s mom’s weekend plans…   

Anyhow, back to the game.  We pulled it all together in the next few innings, putting up a couple crooked numbers to take the lead and add another tick to the W column.  After making sure Sloane sold all the jello shots and watching Walk of Shame get robbed by a surprising foray into regular season overtime… ahemBULLSHITahem…. we made our way to the bar for flip cup where we kept our resurgent streak alive with another win.  We’re coming for you Baby Jesus. 

And remember, don’t hate us because we win.  Hate us because we teabag your ass.


scary merkin

We lost. Then we got drunk and played with fire. Then we drank more at the bar and wore our merkins on our chests to show solidarity.
Cheers to Rachel for vowing to wear a thong outside her clothes as a merkin,
to Joe for having a cool girlfriend and for trying his hand at pitching,
to Ina for playing with a cast,
to whomever scored,
to Sabrina for being diligent about the photography jams,
to Manny for wearing a double blonde merkin on his head at the bar,
to Todd for keeping true to his catnip nickname, including humping his dog,
to Calysta for saving Todd from the kitties,
to that girl who rubbed meat all over her face (and her pants?) in an attempt to be seductive,
to Darren for being sh!thammered before the game even began and still managing to play very well,
to my foolish brain for forcing me to dive for a ball and miss it,
to all the flip cuppers who were completely awesome and cleaned up the table btwn rounds,
to Ken (also known as husband) for being hilarious,
to Sean for shittalking his own team instead of the other and routinely kicking fly balls,
to Amy for trying to limit the number of jello shots we drank and failing again, and
to Jennifer for taking some time away from an insane work sched to play.
I love you all. Let’s make out.
“cheers, tap, drink”
Social diva


WHere My Pitches At?

After some extra innings, and a hard fight by both teams…we ended up tied 4-4. So congrats to both teams..Not to dwell, but the tie could’ve been due to a few iffy calls by Mr. Magoo, err Prez Logue. But we won’t give him too much shit for not paying attention to our game. His mind was obviously elsewhere, probably working on his next routine for his part-time job at La Bare. But that’s mildly disturbing and off topic.. so, back to the game.
It was also a delight to watch Relax & Let It Happen play extra innings..Most of the ‘Pitches’ stayed behing to cheer Andre’s team on against Relax.

This week the Pitches are packing heat along with awesomeness and aren’t taking no for an answer. The infamous fannypack won’t be there this week, but rest assured it’ll be back soon.
Jovita’s was a huge success again, thanks to the lovely margaritas +drink spesh’s’ and the courteous blue hairs….
FYI, apparently they don’t appreciate being called “blue hairs”..just for future reference.
I challenge all the ‘Pitches’ to out-flair each other in my absence, and bring it to the field and flip cup this week.
Little photo montage, courtesy of tequila…



See yall Thursday!

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WAKA Austin – Week 4

July 23, 2009
Costumers of the night!

Costumers of the night!


From your Live Prez….

Picture 6

I’m in beautiful Cleveland Ohio all week for work.  Fighting off a case of strep and a multi-day hangover from a bachelor party.  I do, however, have two beds in my hotel room and am pretty excited about the possibilities that might present later on in this week.  I won’t be at kickball this week which is only adding to my depression and desire to go chug a gallon jug of miracle whip while watching a golden girls marathon in the bathtub and juggling blow dryers.  That being said, I’ll keep this short.

1. Hope everyone had a great time last week.  Hope you played well. Hope you cupped some flips.  Do the same this week and then give a stranger a high five or something.
2. REFFING:  I know some of you have gotten steamed about calls made on the fields.  You guys have to remember that we are almost all VOLUNTEERS here staying on the fields and not going to the bar just so that we can make sure you get a good fair game.  We will not be perfect everytime but will work to make sure you don’t get robbed of a fair chance to have a great time.  IF you do have a complaint, make sure you let the captain know and have them talk to the ref.  If it is not resolved then, talk after the game and an appropriate action will be taken.  I’m sorry if anyone feels bad about the reffing at all.  I promise we want all of you to win.  Most of you, at least..
3. I won’t be there this week so it will be slightly less fun.  Everyone feed Cameron with some Guiness and tell him he’s a girly man.  The rest will take care of itself.

See you soon.  I miss you guys.  Have a great week.

– The Ninja


From Capitol President Rock:


Capital Division,

Good afternoon and welcome to a little session of Rock talking sh** to everyone, but (I regret to say) Relax and Let it Happen.

Trust me, they will get their own one of these times on GMOT, however, until then yall get to hear it. We had two of our four teams lose to Live teams and a third give up the potential first loss of Relax. First for my team of degenerates…What the hell was that? I know the first inning you aren’t exactly “warmed up” or drunk enough (however you want to look at it), but come on. Maybe next week we should play one of the teams from the “Little Miss Kickball League” (average age of 12), then maybe we could actually beat up on someone like we got beat up on last week…just maybe. So this week if you start running laps around the field from some mysterious energy you have…its most likely from the adderall I put in each of your first beers. Just embrace it, concentrate cause you have no choice and remind Kickopotamus X  why we play in Capital. Team, I will start enforcing mandatory sprints after games Now on to the Capital team that I had put so much faith into…winning the first game against Freebasers, stressing out Liver Let Die, but losing in Live? I don’t know what happened exactly as I didn’t see the game, but you didn’t win and you let me down. Don’t think fanny packs make you some sort of all-star overnight…get yalls sh** together and give a good ol fashion ass kicking to Been There Balled That. We are Capital, they are haven’t balled a darn thing. Not to be rude or anything, but you can’t just get three runs in the first inning and think its over. Especially with a team like Relax and Let it Happen. What is amazing though is how they only had two players representing the Y chromosome out on the field; Richard Gray and Justin Grady. With some missing self proclaimed all-stars, Relax was forced to rely on Joey Thomas.  Standing at 6′ a lot, Joey Thomas may be the best female kickball player this sport has ever seen. With a wing span reaching nearly six and a half feet Joey is a dominating force that I reckon will set female kickball records to come.

Alright Capital, make a President proud and let’s win some games.

Thursday…sounds good?  Yall have a good one and see you at the fields.



charitable alaina

Hey Guys,

Another $123 in Jello Shots were sold in week 4, bringing the total amount sold this season to $699.  Weapons of Mass Consumption came through again purchasing more than 35 Jello Shots.  The Tyrannical Teabaggers also purchased more than 20.  Thanks to both of those teams for stepping up to the plate.

As for this week, I will not be at the games but Sloane from The Tyrannical Teabaggers will be filling in for me, so look for her as she will have the Jello Shot backpack.

Good luck this week!

“Jello Shot Bartender”



What up ballllllas!

As you may have noticed, recycling bins have been at the fields now for a couple of weeks! Mother Nature thanks you.. Just a heads up the bins need to be separated in terms of what’s in them — one is for cans (crush them on Cameron’s flame socks if you can) and the other is for plastic (jello shots, solo cups, etc). I shouldn’t see glass in them! (I’m looking at you.. yeah you…) But there are 400+ people in this league and I need your help.. what does this mean?

One time commitment… Use your truck.. You would have to remain at the fields (which you do anyways with your drinking “problem”). I would make sure the recycling bins would be collected and then we would drive them over in the bed of your truck to the recycling center not 10 minutes away. I would then thank you profusely. I can’t bribe you with sexual favors but I can find those that are willing to put out for Mother Nature. Beer is also in your future. I repeat one time only!!!

Please if you can, let me know, atroncoso24@gmail.com or text me at 703 -774-8018.

Thank you in advance!

Kisses and Revolution,




Hello Flip-cuppers,

This week worked out sooo much better and most teams that came to play had a blast! I appreciate all the supportive comments and thanks to Drew for helping out with guest reffing this week.

We had two close games this week! Hannah Montana’s Sex Tape and XXX Men had a make-up game this week and it ended with a ton of yelling and garbage can banging that got the attention of most of the bar. XXX Men pulled it out and gave me a most memorable ending to call. Good job guys!! The other match was between “sister teams” Booze on First and Big LeBALLskis. It came down to the 2-2 tie and you could cut the anticipation with a knife. In the end, Grant and Big LeBALLskis got the win. Great games everyone!

Regular reminders for this week: Please get enough beer for your team before you get to the table. As always, I’ll be trying to keep the games going. Keep an ear out for me yelling out team names. I’m short, so you may hear me coming before you see me. Some teams are still behind in the scoring from week two. Just remember, when you play two games on the field, you’ll also have two matches at the table. The scores will all even out in time.

An extra note this week…I’m going to need some support and assistance the next two weeks to keep the games going. I have another 9:00 game in week 5, so I need someone to start up the games for me. Games should start around 8:30 so it would need to be someone with a 6:45 or 7:30 game. I will have the board written out and the cups will be bought before I get to the fields. Once I finish my game, I will head straight to the bar to finish the night up. If anyone would like to volunteer to help out, please email me at hayesjk2000@yahoo.com. See everyone on Thursday! As always, feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Keep the beer flowin’ and the cups flippin’…

~ Jen


Picture 5

Picture 6


On on the fields…

TxLive Summer Standings

Picture 7

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Relax and Let it Happen

Picture 4

First off, I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Justin Grady and I’m taking over the Relax write-ups while the great Mark Meroney a.k.a. Big Stacy takes the summer off. Many of you know me as the guy that, whenever he gets thrown out at first, teams celebrate as though they’ve just won the World Series, even though they’re down by like 10 runs. They celebrate because I’m fast and I’m black. It makes them feel strong and significant in the face of inevitable defeat.

But, considering our last win had nothing to do with me, I’ll have to bring my introduction to an end. The real story here is the guts that Relax and Let it Happen showed. We only had 3 girls (thanks Minnie), and a lot of our guys were playing out of position due to my injury and Jay’s vacation. Joey had to pitch for the first time, and he did a stellar job. We were playing last season’s runner-up, The Freebasers, and they were gunning to redeem themselves after their less than stellar performance in last season’s championship game. They did that by jumping out to a 3 run lead! Does anyone understand that that has never happened? But, we stayed true to our roots, and stayed relaxed. Three-time champions don’t fold when the going gets tough. They don’t bicker at each other and let negativity poison the camaraderie. They man (and woman) fuck up. And that’s what we did.

David set the tone for the comeback with his heroic tag up from third. He was playing with an almost partially torn groin muscle or something, so he could’ve half-assed it. He had made a small fielding error that allowed The Freebasers to score, so he could’ve been throwing a pity party. But he did none of that shit. Instead, he tagged up from third on a ball that was in the INFIELD and would’ve been thrown out had he not slid head first into a dangerous mixture of gravel, dirt, poop, and most importantly home plate. Katie, who had beautiful kicks all game, and played stellar SS scored on a tag up after that, and we closed the gap to 1 run.

They say defense wins championships, and frankly, that’s why we’re on our way to a fourth. Richard, Jennifer, Jim, and Minnie pounced on balls in the outfield like rabid pirahnas. Can pirahnas get rabies? I didn’t think so until I saw the speed and grace portrayed by our outfield. The infield didn’t make any mistakes after the second inning. Hunter was quick behind the plate even though he was drunk, Ty didn’t miss a ball at first, and Joey sliced and diced the strike zone like he worked at Benihana or something.

The next time we were up to kick, we got the bases loaded and scored two more runs to gain the lead. Shout out to Joey and Jim’s clutch kicks. The Freebasers gave us all that they had and I’m sure we’ll see them again, at which point we’ll beat them.

We showed a lot of guts out there, and I’m proud of my team. So, if you find yourself in a sticky situation and you’re not sure what to do. Remember to relax and let it happen.

Baby Jesus

Buddy Jesus

It’s amazing what can happen when you put everything together all at once.  Bacon and steak and cheese.  Beer and pretzels and peanuts.  Viagra and Crisco and leather.  Each thing individually is great, but everything together is magic.

Last week, Baby Jesus put it all together.  Blasting out a season high five runs through various methods and clamping down on the defense.  The Toe Blasters made us sweat, I think they had 16 guys kicking in a row at one point, but we got it done.

In an effort for consistency, we’ll do the exact same things this week.  So Sean, sorry, you need to stay away for the first inning then come back and make half the plays on defense.  Jenn, you need to forget how to run.  Glen, you need to mow down the kickers and leg out triples.  And Mike and Miya, um, I GUESS we can have y’all back this week, but if we start going south you might have to leave.

Hallelujah Amen.



This week your local ball kickers got their first and much deserved win of the season.  An impressive 3-0 win over Smirkin Merkins got the Ballers in the win column and ruined a Detroit Lions-type imperfect season.  There were so many great plays from the game that we had to list them in a Top 10 (in no particular order):

10: Causing the first foul-outs of the season on a few of the Merkins elite guy kickers.
9: Bethany tripping over first base in a quazi attempt to celebrate her first hit of the season.
8: Steven taking time out while on the mound to take a drink of beer before shutting down the Merkins line up.
7: Jeremy catching three balls in one inning at third even after getting hit in the face pre-game by an errant kickball.
6: Brandon with a clutch catch in the outfield to kill a Merkins rally.
5: Emily scoring her first run of the season.
4: Kai winning rock, paper, scissors to start the game.
3: Rachel and Adam providing solid defense to help preserve the win.
2: T.J., Steven, and Tim (the new pitching trifecta) with a combined 5 hit shut out. No fault to Merkins…I don’t think they could probably even see the ball with the speeds these guys were throwing.
1: Sarah’s game winning two-run rbi single in the 1st. Who knew she’d be our clean-up kicker?

Look for i Kick Balls to continue this streak next Thursday, as they seem to have found their stride.  The season might be hitting the half way point with them at just 1-2-1.  However, the Ballers are starting to come together as a unit on and off the field.  And, because their good luck accessories worked so well, be sure to come out to the next game at Jaycee Fields in Zilker Park for Crazy Hat Night.  Not only will i Kick Balls be sporting hats, but they encourage their fans to show up with their craziest hats as well.  Be sure to call up the hot line for tickets at 800-kik-balls.  That’s it for this week, we’ll be back next week to see if they can make it two in a row!

Things 40 oz. to Victory learned last week:

Sandy’s has frozen custard.
Having a 1, 2, 3 5th inning is boring.
You don’t catch with your face…well much.
Efficient base running is over rated.
Catching the ball is only fun if you have to run for it.
Mike’s spastic base running style works all too well.
Saying “I got it” means talking too much.
Like real estate, it’s all about location, location, location.
Scoring more than twice means making a commitment.
When Joe’s buying, we’re drinking.

We won! We’re having a contest with ourselves to see how long we can go undefeated while barely scoring at all. So far, it’s working out for us. Thanks again to Salim and Becky for making a heads up play to stop the Sexy Pitches’ 5th inning come back just as the tying run was rounding third. Another awesome game against another fun team!


freebasing cookie monster

Sometimes the game can eat you alive. One minute you’re high on home plate, the next minute you’re getting robbed by a corner boy. This week, the Freebasers got a little taste of the whole package. We took a solid 3-0 lead on the depleted Relax, only to squander our high for the second week in a row. No excuses though. For the first time this season, we fielded a full team of fiends. Sometimes the addiction just isn’t strong enough. We got outplayed. Relax simply wanted the rock more than we did, and they out-fiended us to get it. What can you do. The game’s the game. Win or get got.


And now, the highly anticipated…

Sit On My Base


There had been a lot of media hype leading up to last week’s – Sit On My Base/Walk Of Shame matchup.  Things had been said that were, frankly, below the standards of what we feel represents the best of who we are as a league and as people.  Sure, we may have beaten the pants off WOS 5-1, but we here at Sit On My Base don’t want to sink to our competitors’ level and fill this publication with negativity and slander.  That’s tacky.  Instead, we want to take some time out to talk about how great we are.  After all, it’s not just about winning on the field (which we did); it’s about winning off the field, too.  Let’s check in with some of our team members and see what they’ve been up to in the community…

Colin de los Santos

Colin, a former Rhodes scholar and six-time windsurfing champion, was recently honored for his work with developmentally disabled children of homeless Iraqi war veterans.  His non-profit organization, “One Lollipop Per Child, Please Don’t Ask For A Second” has helped distract dozens of children from their afflictions for up to five minutes.  At home, Colin splits his time between his downtown loft apartment and his private yacht, the U.S.S. Sit On My Base Will Kick Walk Of Shame’s Ass Every Time.  Colin is fit.  He’s beautiful.  He’s a winner.

Will Blair

Will is a man who needs no introduction.  His exploits as a world-renowned illusionist and helicopter rescue pilot are a matter of public record.  Recently, however, Will has shunned the limelight as the result of the mass hysteria and bacchanalian orgies that erupt whenever his hypnotically handsome face is shown fully to the public.  He chooses instead to focus on his work in philanthropy, including his recent “Ghetto Magic” campaign in which several city blocks of tenement housing for low-income families were changed overnight into a waterslide park for affluent teens.  Will is fit.  He’s beautiful.  He’s a winner.

Mark Colindres

As one of America’s premier putt-putt golf course designers, Mark is no stranger to bringing smiles to people’s faces.  But if you ask him what makes him smile, he’ll probably tell you about his recently opened women’s shelter.  It’s called “The Courtney Love Memorial Center for Women with Low Self-Esteem,” and is available to all women 18-35 years of age who wear a size six or lower.  Mark says of the Center, “It’s a place where troubled women can come to receive compliments and stiff drinks.  Whether they have daddy issues to work out, or need to feel attractive again if only for a night, this Center provides a harbor in the storm.  But they have to leave by 8:00 AM every morning ‘cause I have work.”  Mark is fit.  He’s beautiful.  He’s a winner.

Minnie Nguyen

As envoy for the United Nations Committee on Hunger, Minnie Ngyuen ended a century-long famine afflicting the Naihootoo Tribe of Karekumbi.  The sole heiress of the Ngyuen energy empire, her wealth, though kept secret from the public, is believed to be vast.  Her collection of rare naval vessels of the Civil War is unmatched in the world.  In 2003, Ngyuen opened the Ngyuener’s For Life non-profit organization.  Today, the NFL owns, funds, and operates, 47 children’s hospitals around the world.  From Compton to Cambodia, her mission is that all children receive the healthiest of starts in a world full of hate and petty three-season long rivalries.  Minnie Ngyuen, she’s trim, she’s trim, and she’s not a Ngloser.

Robert Short

Trial Lawyer, Green Energy Investor, and Concert Pianist, Rob Short wears many hats.  After sinking his life’s savings into the California start-up, Google, Rob decided to commit the rest of his life to his real passion:  American Sign Language.  Today, thanks to Rob and his organization the Project for the New American Sign Language Century, ASL is now being taught on every continent on earth.  From defendants to energy sources to late Romantic Works to new tech start-ups, to playing kickball, the skinny on Rob Short is this: like a winner, he only chooses winners.
Lisa Naeyaert

Lisa Naeyaert champions the rights of the homeless both in and out of the boardroom of General Electric.  Her annual “Sell the Cars I Bought This Year” Auction raised over $60 million dollars in 2008 alone.  Her controversial Hobo Heights in downtown San Francisco has moved over 5,000 homeless off the streets and into luxurious 2,000+ square foot condos fully-furnished and replete with imported marble floors, High Def Flat screen monitors, platinum hardware, and breathtaking views of the bay area.  Using tactical jets from her private collection, Lisa has flown 12 missions in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Her unbridled, cavalier attitude and penchant for the color black has earned her the nickname among Coalition Forces: the Maverick-Batman.  Lisa Naeyaert, she’s a bad ass, she’s a trim ass, she’s a winner.

Wow.  Wasn’t that great?  The moral of the story is this:  Don’t talk shit to your betters in the GMOT.  They’re probably a bunch of smug assholes who will destroy you on the kickball field.  Lesson learned.



Walk OF Shame

The Walks really feel Florida Evans’s pain. Victory always seems one inning away against the players from Sit on My Base, yet somehow the last two meetings have gone their way. Oh well. Some folks think that maaaaybe I shouldn’t have posted the picture I posted last week. That it just “went too far.” That maybe I “woke up a sleeping giant.” Blashphemy! Sleeping Giants aside, we backed up that trash talk until the last inning. But unfortunately, not even the home run of my life, and our amazing luau, could save us from this defeat. We tried to take them out of their game and in the party spirit by getting them leis, but they were not fazed. I guess this is why they win championships. We can’t deny them that. They are a battle-tested bunch and we are still a bunch of young pups searching for 1st taste at the cup. We’ll get there, and we know we’ll have to go through them to do it. So have your jollies this week, you earned it, but you haven’t seen the last of us. And you know it. No matter what your GMOT column says this week about me and my smack-talk, you’ll have to see us again!! (With a full team, mind you. Just sayin’) But in all honesty, great game guys!

After the deflating loss, members of the Walks teamed up with our buddies from 40 Bounces (Not “Ounces,” you posers) to continue our luau. A great time was had by all of us, and we definitely want to do it again with you guys, perhaps when its slightly cooler out. Purple looks really good with rainbow colored leis. We must admit, but not as good as maroon. Oh and by the way, I really enjoy your colors this season over what you wore last season. Gross!

Big props to Chris, Louis, Kris, Karen, Mizzy, and the rest of the team for showing up in their Hawaiian attire. That was pretty badass. Somehow, Chris’s shirt was still tight. How do you do it, Slob? How do you do it? Everything you wear fits snuggly. Anyway, you still looked like a stallion. Oh and I loved, loved, loved, seeing you guys sip beer out of the glass with umbrella straws!!! Win or lose, you guys are the greatest team in the world to play with, and I wouldn’t trade you away for anyone…. Well except for Joey. Which brings us to our next opponent….


Oh Joey (#81), you look adorable. And we love that you used to wear maroon. It’ll make life really easy when you join the Walks after this week because we are finally going to show you that we are no pushovers. Don’t let our game against Sit on My Base fool you, we were winning, and we were playing down two people in the infield. And Jay, it’s Live rules, so that pitching arm you have will have to rest for a week. Roll that ball real slow down the center so Jorge and I can kick it to next week. And we know you guys are real, real quick but you can’t bunt. That could be a problem. Either way, we have absolutely nothing to lose in this game. I mean if you beat us, you’re supposed to right. I mean we are “little leaguers.” Vegas has you guys as 6 run favorites…. But as I’ve told you guys countless times…. We view you guys as Mike Tyson, and we are Buster Douglas and you know what happened then…. See y’all on the fields.



Where My Pitches At?

This past week the Pitches went up against the Teabaggers, and it was a great game…There was a bit of confusion as to number of innings played (the rum might be to blame for that)..but it all was worked out. Kudos to the teabaggers on the win.

During the game several of the “Pitches” were blinded by the red glitter emanating from our substitute pitcher, Kevin “the ginge” McMyler.
ginger cleatsSo much so… that there was almost a collision on second base due to the blinding effects of the red glitter. Perhaps shades will help shield the Pitches from ‘the ginge’s’ awesomeness this week.

We might have lost, but the Pitches definitely weren’t feeling any pain afterwards..thanks to the lovely drink specials at Jovita’s..Our livers were definitely not speaking to us on Friday.

The Pitches are coming back with a vengeance (and even more rum) this week..so watch out!



scary merkin

Dear Merks:

Congratulations on our first NON-LOSS!  We warmed up against iKickballs and their capital level pitcher who will be forever known as hair band.  Then, all warmed up, put dunder UNDER SEIGE. Tragically we couldn’t totally keep it together and only tied… but still! T is better than L in the grand scheme of things. After the game, we continued our debauchery… flipped cups until the lights shut off, grilled delicious burgers of delight using our newer bigger more fabulous grill, gave minors alcohol, then drove to the bar in reckless abandon. Once there we kicked some red teams a$$ in cups and continued the drink-down.  See the “picture find” game below. That will give you a good idea of what our night was like.

Shout outs to Megan “sweet shorts” Lundy and Joe “Wipeout” Young who both ate dirt in significant ways. Way to bleed for the team guys. Jason & Manny – You continue to amaze me with your athletic prowess. Baines – Greased lightning. Seriously. Calysta – pitching impeccable as always. Rachel – BEST CHEERLEADER EVER (Can’t wait to see the merkin!!) Sabrina – Amazing third out. Way to hug that ball like it was a third breast. Amy – for a lot of refreshing beers. Tina – late show up was key. We were almost understaffed (in a team of 18? Yes, really). To Ina Spokas, for playing with a broken hand.  Bonehead moves of the game go to Catnip McCaskey “Which runner do I tag out?” and everyone who doesn’t call that goddamn ball. Not bitter.

Yours in faux hair down there,




Booze On First

And now for something completely different… our writeup in video and pictures. It only seemed suiting for such a badass costumed game.. Love you forever LeBALLskis!

boozinboozin girls costumes

jeff dundee


Big LeBALLski’s

leBALLskis costumes

Let’s keep this short and simple:

1. Costumes make everything better.
2. Mark makes a convincing regular to the Cockpit.
3. Pirates + Pitchers = Domination
4. Construction workers can ball.
5. We love booze on first.
6. Home run with baby in tow.
7. Chase can jump a mile.  Not kidding.

Add it all up and what do you get:   UNDEFEATED.  Andre, get ready for that skirt, big guy.


Liver Let Die Picture

Congrats to the Red Rockets.  They brought it, we didn’t.
Shout outs go to John’s mom, Natalie, Michelle, and Rigley…our biggest fans.


Bobcats, Pumas and Dawgs

The game started with a lot of energy, with Cassie a former teammate bringing some pom-poms to cheer our team on. Jaden, our mascot, was acting more wired up than normal perhaps because he was ready for a win, but most likely because this was the last game he will see of this season (he is headed to Cali) he wanted to make sure we all remembered him.  Both teams started with great defense, XXX’s pitcher made multiple strong throws, getting people out on their way to first (I should know.. I have a huge bruise on my right leg to prove it – no joke).  I bet you didn’t know a big red rubber ball can give you a bruise.

The turning point came when Rob made a enormous kick to center field bringing in SuperDave, who had got on base with a highly controversial side footed kick, at the same time.  Allowing our team to take a 2-0 lead.  Rachel scored (and she also made a run), along with 2 other Bobcats – making it 5-0.  This game was not easy.  We, as a team, prepared putting in one long and very successful practice before the game.  Our team is starting to feel each other.. I mean starting to get the feel for each other, which lead to our first W.


Red Rockets

Red Rockets Cheerleaders

Cheerleaders!!!!! The reason teams win…and we’ve got em!  They can make shirts, they can mix drinks like a champ, and they can high five with both hands… because they are the Red Rockets cheerleaders and they are badass.

Lil Morgan with a pregame phone rap…

Headin to the fields for some kickball gonna try real hard, you know balls to the wall we’re real good, probly gonna win takin it over to jovitas and then… flip the cup, flip the cup you guys know whats up. kickballi-olli-olli-o, then wrap it up with some flip cup

Stellar performance by the Red Rockets in game 4 versus Liver Let Die.   The 9 pm game time worked really well because we play better after a few beers and Sparks and by 9 pm the buzz was flowing.  We played strong from start to finish!  Badass kicking, running, Chelsea booping, and a one handed catch to end the game, what??  Too sick!

We did have one player, Mr. Paul Simon, who got too wasted playing BYOB putt-putt that he couldn’t make the kickball game.  However he texted Coach Jay with a picture of a massive burrito he ate so that made up for it.

It was a good night for the red team.



You know what?  I’m runnin out of stuff to write about……  it’s the same thing every week.  We whoop em’ then go play flip cup and whoop em’ again.  What else is there to say?

A mannequin giving a motivational kick.


40 Bounces to Freedom

Aloha Bounces–great showing last week! We continued our winning streak by narrowly escaping the wrath of Hannah Montana’s Sextape with a 4-3 win. Everyone played well last week and let me just say that had I bought enough tiki water bottles, everyone would have gotten one. Kudos to Hannah Montana for having great sportsmanship and for being awesome competitors—we love you guys! The party continued postgame as we sipped our Hawaiian Punch “punch” and attempted to mingle (I use this term loosely) with Walk of Shame. Maybe if we had served MD 20/20 instead, everyone would have been more sociable…anyway, this week. XXX. Be ready. We’re comin’ for ya.

Whose House? Bounce House.



Well I think our fine team was so distracted about their quest to kick ass in Flip Cup later, that we forgot to (mentally) show up for Kickball.  We frickin’ rocked in Flip Cup!  That’s my story and I’m sticking with it!
Our next ‘strategery’ session will cover setting goals to win at kickball and flip cup all in the same evening ; )




To all the teams that have been teabagged… don’t worry.  You weren’t the first, and you won’t be the last; except “iKickballs.”  You were the first, but you definitely weren’t the last.  Both teams started out strong, but the Teabagger’s prevailed in the third inning when their offense penetrated the Pitches’ defense with a significant well thought out sacrifice play. Doug started the inning with a sweet single.  Sloane then stepped up and destroyed the ball to advance Doug to 3rd.  And by destroyed, I mean hit a dribbler to the pitcher for an easy out at 1st while El Doug stole the extra base, no oxygen required.  Mike brought him in with a perfectly executed sac fly for the only run of this pitchers’ duel.  Any ball that was kicked in the air the Teabaggers caught with style. I guess it is safe to say that taking balls to the face is an effective defensive maneuver. There was a scare in the fourth inning when the Teabagger’s first baseman (who chose to remain nameless…ahem, Sloane) was overcome by fear and confusion when a ball found its way between her legs. The team then pulled together and covered her ass to escape the inning with no damage done.  She then redeemed herself in the final stanza by catching a foul ball to end the game. Considering our shotgunned double plays, vacuum cleaners in the outfield, cross the diamond throwouts, and a quintet of girls that can not be messed with (it has been heard from other teams that our girls are “juiced” and shouldn’t be considered women…FALSE) it can be said that the Teabaggers are a force to be reckoned with. There has been word spreading throughout the WAKA league about how the Teabaggers take the game too seriously. This may be true, if you define serious as showing up with half the team half sloshed with the third baseman barely able to stand. We also have been known to celebrate our wins with victory Jello Shots (and considering the results thus far, that’s a lot of Jello Shots), which can be confirmed by Alaina if there should be any further investigation. In fact as a result of our last game, we are now known as the team that drinks, pukes and rallies. We had a couple players… Aimie and Amog… toss their cookies only to show up at the bar minutes later for Flip Cup Domination. So to those of you out there who doubt us…. Don’t hate us because we win… Hate us because we teabag your ass!

**The plays recapped in this write up may or may not have happened in the set inning. Thinking back on it the person who was supposed to be taking notes was chasing down Alaina for jello shots.  T-T-T-TEA-BAG-GERS!! (Just for you Aimie…still lame though.)


Picture 9


WAKA Austin Week 3

July 16, 2009



Picture 6

Week Three

Dear Kickballers,

How the heck are you guys doing?  I’m hoping all of you had a lovely weekend full of old friends, new friends, and pets that are inanimate objects but still talk back to you.  I really don’t see how you could call the weekend a success without all three.

I really don’t have much to report on this week so I’m going to assume that means all is well in the world of TX Live.  Not a single person mentioned a “tiger snooze” last week so none of you got hugs.  Banished!  All of you!  Not really.  I ❤ you guys.

What’s that?  Give us some of your magical wisdom, Grant?  Tell us the ways of having an awesome Thursday?  Don’t mind if I do.

1. If you’re going to buy ice, double the order.  Man, it’s hotter than a black on black Camaro with no A/C out there.  You guys should make sure and stay cool.  Keeping it cool, while keeping it safe.  Always important.
2. Walk up and meet someone.  Does anyone say “howdy” anymore?  I know the freaking Aggies try to make it their deal  (Much love, aggies) but we can still say it.  Say hi to a stranger.  It looks good on ya..
3. Be like the Teabaggers.  As long as I don’t forget, that team will get some kind of awesome banner or something this week.  And yes, it is strictly do the fact that all the ladies wore bikinis before the game.  Bunting still sucks though.

All I got for now.  I’m going to go do some squats, run a couple miles, get stretched and prepared for Thursday night.  And by that I mean take a nap b/c all this typing has really taken it out of me. I even had to type b/c instead of because.  You see how bad it gets??  Anyone have some leftover pizza?

Sweet Dreams,



shot tender
Hey Kickballers,

Last week 124 jello shots were sold and that brings the grand total to $576 raised for the Town Lake Animal Shelter.

This week in addition to selling jello shots we will also be collecting the following items to donate to the shelter:

* New or used towels or small blankets – please, no quilts or electric blankets
* Newspapers
* Tennis balls, Kong toys, and other sturdy, washable dog toys
* Wand-type interactive cat toys
* Washable, plastic, ball-type cat toys
* Natural rawhide chews
* Natural dog and cat treats
* Quality canned cat and dog food

Also, special thanks to Cameron for making the delicious sweet tea vodka jello shots, they were a big hit.   Thanks to everyone who purchased jello shots last week.

~ Alaina


Picture 3

Hello Flip-cuppers,

Well, all of you know we got a late start at the bar this week. I had a late game and there was a miscommunication with my sub, so I’m giving some mercy this week. I didn’t give any forfeits, only wins and losses. I’m playing a 7:30 game this week, so I’m going straight to the bar after my game and getting things started a little early. We’ll probably get things rolling around 8:30 instead of 9:00 this week.

I’m proud to say that Baby Jesus is dominating the table so far this season. A shout out goes to Wendell of Been There Balled That for guest reffing for me so I can participate! Shame on you Andre for trying to pull one over on me at the tables this week!! I can’t believe you tried to sub Fireballs team members for your own team because they had the same shirt color. I’m getting to know who’s on what team people! I’ll be able to smell deception. Only members of your kickball team can be on your flip cup team. Dre…beware!!

Regular reminders for this week: Please get enough beer for your team before you get to the table. As always, I’ll be trying to keep the games going. If I can’t find your team when it’s your turn, I may have to forfeit ya! Some teams are still behind in the scoring from week two. Just remember, when you play two games on the field, you’ll also have two matches at the table. The scores will all even out in time. See everyone on Thursday! As always, feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Keep the beer flowin’ and the cups flippin’…


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Picture 7


Picture 8Picture 9


freebasing cookie monster

It’s a fact of life. All Freebasers know it. When you’re deep in the game, things don’t always go your way. You just get your fix and try to live to see another day. Sometimes the package is fat, and sometimes it’s short. This week we got shorted, only being able to play a 4 inning game. But you can’t blame the hoppers. We shorted ourselves too, with only 9 fiends showing up to get their fix. This is the second time in two weeks that we’ve had a short crew (that’s 100% weak sauce). Some had alcoholic excuses. Some eloped to Serbia. While others simply passed out on a cot in a crackhouse only to wake up hours later to the smell of a dog crapping beside them. Apparently the kickball addiction hasn’t been strong enough to consume us all.

Despite sporting yet another sickly emaciated team, we still played pretty well. Nothing too spectacular to note. Just solid freebasing all around. A few defensive breakdowns, but that’s expected when you play with a short spoon (and your pitcher’s pipe is still rusty).

Props to Liver Let Die for a good comeback to tie the game 3-3 (and thanks for the juicy watermelon!). Some new players to their team gave us a bit of an unexpected curveball, and a gimp alcoholic  coach always helps.

And yes, you read that right…we tied! Which means our usual sign off won’t make much sense this week. But anyway, the game’s the game. Win or get got.



We beat the Weapons of Mass Consumption so badly they stayed afterward and practiced kicking for an hour.
We were at Jovita’s enjoying our 3rd round when they finally showed their faces;-)

And as for Flip Cup…. We won that too:-)

Go Fireballs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Ace of 2nd Base


Great job outfield on all those crazy kicks.  Matt and Nick rocked it out!  I’m sure we’ll score next week.  🙂

By the way, can we sign up for a reasonable hour to play flip cup?  My boss frowns on decreased productivity on Friday mornings due to “I had to stay out late last night to play flip cup so we didn’t earn a -1 in the flip cup standings…”


Liver Let Die Picture

A tie.  It’s like kissing your cousin.  And, only 4 innings, but who’s counting?
We had a rough start and Freebasers kicked it where they were supposed to and got on base.  They were off to a strong start.  We, however, didn’t hear the starter’s gun.  With 32 defensive errors in the top of the first inning and our lead off kicker popping it up for an out for the 2nd week in a row, we made and amazing comeback.  Our offense generated lots of base runners that somehow didn’t translate to scoring.  What gives, Rock?  Truman was benched and Rock was fired again, but it was still a remarkable comeback from an 0 – 3 start after the first inning.
Two shoutouts this week:  1. Phrog batting a 1000 and making a huge catch from behind the plate.  2.  Our broken handed designated hitter, Jeremy, kicked a well placed kick to get on base and advance the runners to scoring position.  Welcome back to James and a get well to Denise.
Next week….Live rules….no bunting.  Bring it!



The Ballers suffered a crushing defeat to The Walk of Shame this week, which is pretty surprising considering the pony keg accompanying Walk of Shame on the field.  The Ballers came out on fire scoring 2 runs in the first.  They looked poised to snag their first win of the season, but those were the only 2 runs they would see for the rest of the game.  Chalk the late 6 runs by the Walk of Shame up to some questionable calls from the umpiring crew, lucky catches on two power kickers – Team Co-Captain Steven and Outfielder Chris – who just couldn’t find any space in the outfield, the bulldozing that other Team Co-Captain Emily experienced at second base and the lack of good luck accessories, which seem to be a key to WAKA Kickball victories.  The game ended shortly thereafter and the Ballers record is now 0-2-1.
After the game, iKickBalls Pitcher Brian was reached for comments.  On the questionable call that lead to the big inning, “When you get people who like to bend the rules, it’s hard to keep your cool. They had a lead off of third and then made a sort of Superman type leap around my throw.  The next time I’ll go for the legs and make them wish they didn’t try to score on us”. Also reached about the upsetting loss was Katie (who was caught playing flip cup instead of on the field half way through the game),”Well, you can’t win them all, and we had a great game to start.  We just need to keep our heads in the game and not get caught up”.  Finally, Catcher Sarah on her thoughts about the game, “Maybe the next time our outfielders should wear a glove or sombreros in the field or maybe even wigs next week.  Maybe, just maybe that will get us in the win column.”
Come out to the fields next week to see if iKickBalls can clench the first win of their season.  Or, if anything, see if they can continue to dominate in the Flip Cup game, which is the only game that matters.  Till next week!


Baby Jesus

Buddy Jesus
Ever have that certain something that follows you around, you can’t quite put your finger on it, you change your surroundings to the point where everything else is different but that certain something is still there?  I think I’ve got that going on with kickball.Going back to S!@#$@e, Spider Pig, Bohica, Tourettes and even Cereal Killers, my teams have often managed to play 4 very good to great innings and be undone by 1 bad one.  So it was Thursday night, when we commited 17 errors in the first two innings and spotted the mighty 40 Bounces to Freedom a 5-0 lead.  We finally clamped down on defense and Glen came in to make his WAKA pitching debut by shutting down all six batters he faced.

In the 4th we exploded for four two-out runs, with me, Lisa and Mike driving them home.  But we ended up an inning late and a run short and fell 5-4.  At least it wasn’t a TIE.

I’m thinking it’s me, and this week I’m going to do something about it.  Maybe I’ll show up in Mime.  Perhaps I’ll fake an injury and not play and hope my team wins one for the gipper.  I guess we’ll just have to find out Thursday.


40 oz. to Victory

It was a tight game in which we had to mount a comeback to win, barely pulling it out in time. There were some great displays of prowess in the outfield by Richard and Amy dominated anything that got close to her in the infield in an all around team effort. While we found the Toe Blasters’ curiosity for Randy a bit suspect, he seemed to enjoy engaging their bench in a little give and take. Who knows, maybe the Toe Blasters just like guys who kick balls in cowboy hats. The Toe Blasters flirted with a 5th inning comeback, but Matt C. was just too much, shot them down and the comeback never got past second base.

Unfortunately, 40 oz’s to Victory did more flipping off the diving board at Barton Springs after the game than we did flipping in flip cup and lost out after the Toe Blasters came from behind to win 3-2. Good game Blasters, it was lots of fun.

This weeks 40 oz: Mickey’s



Steven Seagal’s Dunder Siege


In all action movies, there’s a moment when the hero find himself up against a wall, and things look bad. He’s outgunned, surrounded, and poorly lit from the side. Usually it’s in a warehouse or factory. Last Thursday, it was Field #1, and Steven Seagal’s Dunder Siege was surrounded by bikini-clad teabaggers. Things did not go according to script. We managed to land a blow, tarnishing their scoreless record, but in the end we took a decisive beating.

The highlights of the game included Tim’s multiple sliding catches, and Adrian’s double followed by Jonathan’s RBI.

We made two or three errors, we were a little disorganized, but hey – that’s Live right? All-in-all we played a decent game, but it was tense – it felt forced. If we were perfect, we were still losing this game. Maybe it was the 105º, but it left us wondering… What is the Live Division? Time was, Live was the fun, noncompetitive goof-off division. Most of our time was spent falling down and arguing rules we’d never read. And I’m really glad that most of the 23 Live teams are still like that. I hope we play them in the coming weeks, win or lose.


Smirkin Merkins

scary merkin

Well… apparently the first game wasn’t our only loss of the year. But it turns out we don’t really care that much. As long as we can wear merkins and drink beer and grill hot dogs on a fence. Wait, what? Yes. We took hot dog grilling to a new level. The first week, Manny “The Fire God” Hernandez flamed those wieners to crispy perfection. This week, we discovered the top grill was mysteriously missing. A casualty of kickball war if you will. Enter ingenuity.  Team members Jason & Chad channeled their inner boy scout, pulled up a section of fence (sorry city of Austin…) and used that as a grill top! See picture.  To date, no deaths or specific illness. Extra special fence flavoring was delicious and unexpected. A new meaning to iron chef.

Kudos to Jason Heebs for his excellent catches, to Baines Kinnison for his Michael Jordan like vertical and his “busch” merkin, to Melissa Nacol for lending us her camera to document the event, to Calysta Johnson (awwww shit calysta johnson) for wearing her razorback head merkin the whole game, to Todd “Catnip” McCaskey for being a camera whore, to Tina Engravallo for dropping off beer before heading off to work, Amber Dikeman for buying us jello shots, Ken & Julia for being a fun married couple, to my legs for helping me score and Michelle Bodenger for putting up with us.  Oh and to everyone else for being brave enough to try the fence dogs.

Hip hip hooray for the vajayjay toupees.



Been There, BALLED THAT had an enjoyable game going up against the undefeated, mighty Red Rockets!  Jeff’s, aka ‘K2’ double really got the comeback rally going!  We had a lot of good kicks to advance our runners as well as some great RKI’s.  John, aka the ‘HamBurglar’, has the record with the most RKI’s in a game so far!

John vs John (circa 1989)
The wacky spinning pitches from our pitcher, ‘Dizzy Dan’ had the Red Rockets almost kicking more foul balls than the Kid who batted a 1000 if it weren’t for the WAKA rule of a 4 foul limit.  Our outfield hustled for some amazing catches to help clench another victory.

We would like to welcome Dustin to the team.  He just joined us last week for his first game and was most awesome-est!  I almost get dizzy watching dat boy run around the bases!

I would like to give a BIG SHOUT OUT to recognize how great Jovita’s wait staff is considering the remoteness of the back deck to the actual restaurant.  Maybe we should pitch in and get those guys some walkie talkies to keep them from having to walk back and forth across the parking lot just to put in our food orders.

Next Stop: Kickopotamus X



Booze on 1st

Great game for the boozers! With game 3 bringing us to a 1-1-1 record we are confident we’ll keep having fun and start kicking ass. Since this is our first writeup I want to thank all the newbies for joining the former Chupacabra team. You all are a welcome addition and a blast! Now for our MVPs this week: it is definitely a 3-way tie between Anne (the only girl to make it to third base), Scott (who both scored our only AND bulldozed a girl down all at once) and of course our Pinata…who’s name was…Merl? I forget. Anyway, great fun boozers and way to go on our undefeated cup flippin!

This week… We go head to head against the Big LeBALLski’s… in costumes!!!


Walk OF Shame

Was the perfect storm brewing again for the Walks? Fresh off a tough loss. Sad about the epic engineering catastrophe that was the Wheel of Shame. Missing two of our best kickers. Three of our best players all drunk from the keg we brough to the field. From the outside looking in, yes, we were in some major trouble. But once again, this IS the regular season and we ARE Walk of Shame. The regular season is our season. Sorry iKickballs. Had it been any other team you were playing out there, they may have folded. But we like the drama. It’s what we do. And it was really cute of you guys to jump out to that quick 2-0 lead. Real, real cute. You had the Walk of Shame captain a little scared. Not gonna lie. We really liked your passion for the game though, and we know you guys played really hard. We don’t like playing against teams that do it any other way. So a lot of funky butt-lovin to that. You guys will be a dangerous team come the end of the season. Keep it up! Good shit.

But back to the good guys. Whoa now, talk about making plays when we need it the most. Between me, you, and the rest of the league… I thought we were about to get our asses kicked on the strength of being drunk. But no, we had one little Asian man who refused to settle for the L. He kicked a what could have been triple way the hell in the outfield. It was pretty remarkable. What wasn’t remarkable was his plight around the bases. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, leave it only to him to try and pad his stats and try for the first ever grand slam home run in Walks history, only to have his destiny stripped away from him at the last second by getting tossed out at home. My friends, there is only one Louis “Saigon” Huynh, this weeks Walk of Shame MVP.

Way to stick it out team and get the “W” we definitely needed after that bullshit loss we took the week before. (By the way the Teabaggers, by virtue of their women, are quickly becoming one of Shame’s leading contenders to take that famed Walk. Thank you for the dance around the keg. Please wear some Hawaiian shit for the LUAU this week) You guys are making this season our most fun ever, and we’re still winning. So this is shaping up to be everything we wanted. The Luau this week is going to be some kind of awesome. And everyone is invited…

40 Bounces to Shame Luau!!! Two teams, One big ass party. All of you fools are invited. Tiki torches, fruitty drinks and the like… If you wear a coconut bra, I’ll give you a special surprise. Looking forward to seeing all you fools there.

And by the way… We still haven’t forgotten about last season Minnie!!!



Red Rockets


Big Taj in the mofo’n park!

Well game 3 versus Weldon’s crew was a good one but we were all feeling a little shrinkage when the final whistle blew and we came up short on runs .… looking forward to a good playoff rematch though.  However, we did drink like champs and won a late drunken game of flip cup.

A couple great quotes from week 3:

* Apparently some guy really liked Harley and was petting her heavier than you normally pet a dog so from now on the rule with our dogs is “Pet the head..Don’t cup the balls!”
* Did you have fun playing your first kickball game?  “Hell yea, I caught one ball, I kicked once and I drank 6 beers!”

Rockets out!


Black mail of the week!!



Good week guys! See everyone Thursday!

Week 4 — July 16th

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WAKA Austin – Week 2

July 8, 2009
red, white, blue

Very Patriotic. (cue: America!! F^@& yeah!!!)

Fantastic Week 2 ‘ballers!!

Hope everyone had a great 4th. Keep up the great games, drunken flip-cupping, hangover-nursing, and pee-your-pants-funny writeups.

Remember to bring cash to the fields AND the bars! No glass on the field, and try to organize your recycling this week. (Last week Grant the Ginja had to go through all the recycling and divide everything out. You know that’s a bitch with all those jello-o cups… ick. Thanks Grant(y).


Now for something completely different! Let’s play:


Who’s sexy legs are wearing these bad boys???






Let’s hear the votes!

Keep up the fashions and check our Facebook page for more kickball documentation…



The Ginga Ninja

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Dear Kickballer Nation:

I wanted to take the time out to salute you on another successful night of the most glorious sport known to lazy-yet-still-awesome-and-competitive “adults.”  I saw a bunch of smiling faces at Jovitas so I feel our job here has been a successful one.

Wanted to throw a few pearls of wisdom at ya, compliments of the wise and resourceful Ninja expert.

1. I love that you care about the world and want to see it last a long time and were willing to place your empty cans and (frowny face) bottles in the recycling bins last week.  We got 8 full bins and not a lot of trash, so good job!  Your kids, whether they be legitimate or not born yet, thank you.  If I may please ask you to only bring cans and plastic bottles this week and to place them by themselves in the bins that would be great.  Would save us a lot of work and we’d appreciate it.

2. I’m absolutely speaking to myself and my team when I say this: but remember to keep it fun out there.  I’ll admit it right now to the whole league that your prez got a little steamed on a call from the VOLUNTEER ref last week.  I feel crappy about it, but it happens.  Just wanted to say that we’re here to have fun.  Hopefully we are quick to forgive and can party on.

3. Are you meeting new people? Are you having a great time? Do you have any ideas for us?  Ask a ref or a girl that looks like she knows what she is doing and tell them about it.  We love to hear from you and are constantly looking to make this thing even more fun for you guys.  Hopefully you love it as much as the Ginga Ninja himself.

I’d say that’s enough rambling for now.  Hope to see all of you out on the fields this week.  Start the trash talk with your future opponents because the schedule is out for the first 7 or 8 games.  By the way, because I love my Live peeps, if you find me and say the phrase “Take a little tiger snooze” this week, I will reward you with one free hug and/or kiss right then and there.  (girls only on the kisses) (probably).


Charity Update


With only two weeks of season play and a pickup game under our belts we have already raised over $450 for the Town Lake Animal Shelter!

At the first game the Smirkin Merkins alone bought over 35 jello shots and the Weapons of Mass Consumption have consistently been buying more than 25 jello shots every week.  So if your team has only been buying a couple, or, heaven forbid, none at all, it might be time to step up your drinking game and do something for the animals.

I will be out on the fields Thursday with my snazzy jello shot backpack serving until we sell out.

Alaina – “Jello Shot Bartender”




Hello Flip-cuppers,

I hope you all enjoyed week 2 of the season and had an awesome holiday weekend!

Everyone seemed in great spirits Thursday night! Could this have been because most of us were off on Friday? I think so! I definitely know my ass was grabbed more than usual this week. Haha! Everyone check out the pics that I posted on the Facebook website.

The match ups were exciting this week. Weapons of Mass Consumption pulled an upset on Lisa and Wendell’s team Been There Balled That! What a shocker! The newbie team Fireballs pulled off their second win of the season. I think that they may be a team to watch out for in weeks to come.  Walk of Shame got a win this week against Tyrannical Teabaggers. Wow Dre! When your team shows up, they rock the table…

Just a few reminders for next week: Please get enough beer for your team before you get to the table. Also, I will be working to keep the games moving as quickly as possible so get to the bar after your games. If I can’t find your team when it’s your turn, I may have to forfeit ya! Side note for all the teams that didn’t play in week 2 : Cameron says you will be given a double-header in the coming weeks. When you play two games on the field, you’ll also have two matches at the table. The scores will all even out in time. See everyone on Thursday! As always, feel free to email me with any questions or comments.

Keep the beer flowin’ and the cups flippin’…

~ Jen



FlipCup Standings

(as of Week 2)

Picture 1

Picture 4


Now onto the fields…

Kickball Standings

(as of Week 2)

 Picture 2

Picture 3


(In no particular order… except maybe submittal time.. and that below is the Van Gundy look-alike 🙂 )




We are living the HIGH LIFE with another landslide victory with the winning HR from Gerald clenching the victory by a big 1 to 0.

A big warm welcome to Rebecca who had an awesome catch in the field!  I told everyone on the team to be on their best behavior so she would like us…but I guess that was a ridiculous request on my part ; ).  Sorry Rebecca, please come back ; )

Just for clarification on the real LIVING the HIGH LIFE guy

Picture 15

Windell Middlebrooks is not to be confused with Wendell of Been There, Balled That.  Our Wendell wears the gray shirt with a kickball logo, not Miller High Life logo…just in case you were still confused.

The other team, WMC, aka the Voyeurs and Obstructers…what was up with the creepy guy on your sidelines with the video camera?  We know we are all eye-candy…but really ; )  we already have a big head with our impressive win!
and btw we have a couple soccer moms on our team who are highly skilled graduates of Zidane’s school of head-butting (see France v Italy, World Cup 2006) when it comes to the protecting our offspring from injury due to illegal obstructing.




Fireball candy

Hello All:

The Fireballs are not a team to talk shit,
but when it comes to kickball and flip cup, we are a major hit.

Last week we played the Sexy Pitches,
and we sent them to Jovita’s in need of some stitches.

In our ugly maroon shirts,
we weren’t afraid to lay the hurt.

Next stop:


Liver Let Die

Liver Let Die Picture

Fabulous performance by the ‘Livers’ this past week.  Great defense, mostly solid offense, and stellar baserunning.  One thing I’d like to clear up.in the Capital division (that’s us, guys) you are allowed to bunt.  Here’s what a bunt is according to Wikipedia: The primary goal in bunting is to ground the ball into fair territory, as far from the fielders as possible, generally while staying within the infield.

That being said, we’ve got some shout outs for great plays of the game.  David made a double off an amazing grounder down the 3rd base line.  Justin stole home with some crafty baserunning and Bryan made the final play of the game diving and sacrificing his body to make the catch.  He’s still searching for the MVP award, but you have to get on base to earn that one.  Don’t worry, Bryan, it’s still early in the season.  (By the way, there will be vodka watermelon this week for all who get on base, and Ryan.)

Post game performance was stellar.  Total domination at the flip cup table!  Way to go rookies!


Walk OF Shame

This week was amazing for the Walks. This is the stuff champions are made of. Oh yeah, they talked a lot of shit. More shit than me in fact, which is pretty remarkable anyway you look at it. (Let it be known it took an entire team of them to equal the fecal output of the mouth that I dish out by my lonesome.) The Walks jumped out to the early 1-0 lead behind some clutch plays by Dre, Mizzy, Ethan, Kiki, and Kim. Then, in true Hammertime fashion, the 2 Legit came back and tied the game. The walks went ahead 2-1, only to be tied AGAIN by these fools. Then in the magical 5th and final stanza, the Walks showed complete domination by taking the go-ahead and winning points. It was hard fought, but we couldn’t have done it without amazing heart and dedication. We train every week for moments like this. We never get down on ourselves because know in the end we will come back and defeat our opponent. Many people like to throw around the term, “warrior” to describe someone’s play, but thats exactly what we were on this night…warriors. Our opponents simply could not match our will and determination. In the end, we sent them back to their huddle looking for answers, perhaps in the next bottle of beer. I’m sure they didn’t find any though. We ended their run last night. You guys are done. Walk of Shame owns you. Life is hard when you’re horrible! Don’t ever come to the bar again, suckas!

By the way…. This was dedicated to flip cup. We lost on the field 1-0. Shit.

Yeah, they’re pretty good. Truthfully we got nothing going offensively with only one of our kickers getting on base. We gift wrapped them a run, and there you have it, a 1-0 victory for the bad guys. Oh well. Truth be told, we didn’t even care after the loss. No one goes undefeated, unless your name is Relax, and even their runs ends later this year against us. So whatever. Also, this was our inaugural Mad Dog night and, oh, did the 20/20 flow like the nile! Everyone on Shame took a walk on the bum side. Even members of other teams couldn’t resist the oh-so-delicious-flavors of the Dog. Ask Lacy, Grant, and all members of Liver Let Die! So here is to our MVP this week… Twanky! Twanky!


editorial note: Friday hated me for this mistake

editorial note: Friday hated me for this mistake


This week was probably the most fun any of us ever had out there.  And the party don’t stop this week bitches. And here’s why…. This week is Wheel of Shame Week…. What is that, you ask? Come by our field and find out.

Few things to look out for in the coming weeks…

* Wheel of Shame!!!!
* Relax and Let it Happen’s first loss, and Joey being the newest member of Walk of Shame as a result.
* Grant wearing a skirt after his team loses to Walk of Shame.
* Walk of Shame rattling off 7 straight wins! Boomshakalacka!!!

iKickballs, I would like to be the first one to apologize for taking our frustrations out on you this week. Walks win… 9-1.


Buddy Jesus

Last week, Baby Jesus was feeling quite charitable.  We tried to love our opponents and allowed them to score.  We also didn’t want to upstage our host, so we did not get on the scoreboard.

Then we remembered that we’re BABY Jesus, and babies are selfish.  What, we don’t know any better.

Against the valiant XXX Men, making their official WAKA debut, we clamped down on defense and were anything but welcoming.  Sorry guys and gals, but all things are fair in love, bestiality and kickball.  And if you’re keeping score at home, that’s 8 straight shutout innings.  (Hold for applause)

On offense, it doesn’t get any better than a 2-out rki, and that’s exactly what Miya provided for us.  Twice.  At the same time.  With two dudes.  Yeah, she’s awesome, you should have seen the video.  Pugs came around and scored the winning run with Colin right on his heels.  I never knew you two were that close.

Then Colin came in from right field to pitch the final two innings.  Normally that means you’re getting your ass kicked, bringing in someone who doesn’t pitch.  For us, it just means we found our Mariano Rivera.  If Mariano Rivera was white, tattooed and not a professional athlete and all.

Great game XXX men, I hear the post game orgy was epic.  That Thai escort is still missing though…



dunder_canCameron screwed up the schedule and we didn’t have a team to play.

We ended up playing against some vagrant homeless guys, but they were strangely all wearing royal blue.




Line drive by Steven

Tim up to bat

Tim up to bat

Carly safe on Third!

Carly safe on Third!

After a brutal 6-0 defeat in week 1 iKickballs gained some redemption with a 5-5 tie against Ace of Second Base. The first inning we scored one run. Woo first run of the season! And subsequently the other team made four runs. Aw. However we hit our stride in the fifth inning to take the lead 5-4, despite being robbed on a legit kick. Ace of Base swindled our win in the last inning to tie the game. Great teamwork by all and I think this week we’ll even it out with 1-1-1.


Bobcats, Pumas and Dawgs

Picture 5

Co-Captain SuperDave had things well organized for game 2 against the Big LeBALLskis – a line up – printed in advance.. what?  who does that? A highly skilled technical coordinator.. that is who.  The Big LeBALLskies underestimated the energy that the Bobcats, Pumas and Dawgs would bring to the field, arguing a strong but short left footed kick by co-captain Erika who made it to first in the confusion.  The fireworks went off a bit before the 4th of July as a recycle bin with all its contents went flying in frustration.  It was a tough game.. great defense on both sides. We got on base multiple times, and fortunately Grant made it into home with a sacrifice kick by Janie tying the game.  Bobcats, Pumas and Dawgs, although a young team, are quickly maturing team, both on the field and in flip cup challenges.  The team, who is made up of players who are playing for the first time together, and some who have never played before, has shown that they are up
to the challenge.

A award for dedication to the team goes to Joanna, who walked all the way from Congress to get to the game because her ride failed to pick her up.

Erika and SuperDave


Big LeBALLski’s


I think super dave put it best when he said this to me the day after the game: “do you guys even have fun out there?”

It hurt.. It ran deep.. But it was true. It was as if we were dave chapelle’s mental status and Bobcats were the pressure of being funny.  We caved and ended up yelling at them, the ref, and ourselves.  Here it is: official and for one last time.  “Our bad.”  Were here to have fun and be like kids.. Thanks bobcats for the good game.

Welcome Chase to his first official Waka game.  His athletic stature reminds all of us (read: the unathletic captain) that gyms really do serve a purpose.  Looking forward to putting that to use.

Got the W at the bar.  Close again.  I believe all of us hated ourselves as much as our livers hated our gaping faces that we poured booze down on friday morning so that’s cool right??

Party on. Peace and love.


— Sent from my Palm Pre


Ode to 40 Bounces

Collaboration by: Jonah Mankovsky & Josh McGonigle

40 Bounces to Freedom’s OUR team

Despite those ass-clown’s big scheme

They ripped off our name

Said “It’s not the same”

When we play them, We’ll reign supreme



Where My Pitches At?

This past week us ‘Pitches’ faced off against Liver Let Die, and unfortunately didn’t fare as well as last weeks’ game. It was a good game, and we look forward to a rematch later in the season.
We had three new ‘Pitches’ added to the lineup: Erika, Todd, and Mario. All three of which are going to be bad-ass assets to our team. There were some hard hits on the field Thursday night, too bad it was between two of our players on the third base line…..
Serious ass kicking happened- those Coors Lights didn’t know what him ’em. We’re pretty sure they’ll be back this thursday with a vengeance.
Shoutout to the Tea-bags for cheerin’ us on throughout the game, you guys rock.
To Prez Logue, I can see now why you’re president. Like most politicians, 92.3% of what comes out of your mouth is total BS.. (hey, you asked for trash talk!). Us Pitches are Looking forward to beating you at Flip Cup in near future.

This week our game plan looks to be “kick it hard. kick it fast. Kick it up the pitcher’s ass.”
Oh…and to “B Wok” (also known as B-Walk), we’re coming for you this week. So, put your bedazzler down and get ready for what’s coming.



Week 2 — In pictures..

(Click any photo to view more on our FB page)








pinky on grill

The Zoolander. (Oh please, don't tell me yall didn't know Cammy wears the flamer socks!)

The Zoolander. (Oh please, don't tell me yall didn't know Cammy wears the flamer socks!)


Week3 schedule


WAKA Austin – Week 1

July 1, 2009

Welcome everyone to WAKA Austin’s Ghost Man on Third, or more humbly and affectionately known as, the GMOT.

In the GMOT you will find Team Standings (for both on the field and at the bar!), Charity Updates, Letters from the Presidents, Team Writeups, (blackmail) Pictures, Overheard Quotes of the Week, and much more. This is meant to help all you ADD-prone kids get through the long, hard (insert ‘thats what she said’ here) day at work and get pumped for upcoming, bestest day of the week.

Comments are absolutely welcomed. Trash-talking among teams? Heavily encouraged. Have an idea for something you don’t see in the GMOT? Tell me. Submit whatever you want.  Our League Facebook page is always a good black hole for photos: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=62333569622

Anyway, I want this season’s GMOT to be kickballers’ (crude and unusual) oyster. That said, I hope ya’ll enjoy!! Comment! And submit! Or else our GMOT bounty hunter will be on your ass 😉

See ya on the fields!

Your GhostWOman on Third,




Anciently Pointless Wisdom: Thoughts from a Ginga Ninja

(yes, those ARE panties..)
(yes, those ARE panties..)

Welcome to WAKA Kickball Summer ’09!

Registering with the coolest association this side of the Atlantic Ocean was a great idea.  I applaud you for that and want you to take the time to pat yourself on the back right now.  Go ahead… do it… nice.  Feel better?

I am your Live President.  That, in the real world, could not mean less.  I am here to make sure all of you have a great time, your thoughts get heard, and we plan a great season for you guys.  I, along with the rest of the board, really hope you have a great time and am looking forward to meeting all of you and making new friends.  That being said, I think it is time for the Ginga Ninja to reveal your first set of lessons:

  • Those who live hard kick hard.  In Live you are free, and somewhat required, to kick away at each ball that comes your way (that’s in the strike zone of course).  Stare that sucker right in its red face, pretend it’s someone you loathe, and kick away.  Feels good right?
  • The world is like a pond on a hot summers day.  I have no idea what that means but I’d like you all to bring lots of bevies, snacks, D&D treasure maps, WoW cheat codes, Rainbow Brite posters and what-not to the field.  The only thing I want more is for you to pick that crap up when you leave.  Save the world guys… one discarded PBR can at a time.
  • Flip, Learn, Love.  You all must come to the bar.  Don’t want to spend dough? Ladies:  Find an average looking dude, bat your eyes, and ask “So, fella, how long have you been playing with balls?”  Gents:  Find a less than sober looking dude, challenge him to a game of flip cup and say “If you win, I’ll buy the next round.”  Then swiftly bail to the other corner of the patio.

Enough for now.  Hope all of you can handle that much wisdom in one little GMOT.  See you at the fields this week.  Introduce yourself to lots of new people and have a blast.

– The Ginga


Letter from gimp Prez Logue

What’s going on everyone? Hopefully yall had a good week and looking
forward to getting back on the fields to play some kickball. Last
weeks games brought a surprise as Where MyPitches At beat last seasons
runner up, Freebasers. After meeting the captain of WMPA at the bar;
if her team is as competetive as she is they are not a team to take
lightly. Lets see how they do against mixed rookie/veteran team, Liver
Let Die. After a first week loss, Liver Let Die will be out to set
things straight…this should get interesting. Relax and Freebasers
are too short handed to play this week, so we look forward to a
rematch from last seasons finals soon.

As I hate to be that guy, its kind of my responsibity address some
issues that have happened in the past. I am not saying this has
happened, it just has to be said.
1. Because of the competitive nature of the Capital division its easy
to get caught up in the moment and want to ring the neck of the ref.
Please refrain and let your captain do it, anyone but your captain
arguing with refs can possibly get you ejected from the game.
2. If a ref makes an arguable call, please feel free to let your
captain address the call. However, get over it once the call has been
verified and is official. I know we (unlike another division) are out
here to win, but remember what sport we are playing. Also remember
that the refs are not professional, we may miss a call, don’t get your
panties in a wad over it because the next call could easily go in your
favor. In summary, lets act like the adults that we are not.
3. Each team needs to supply each ref with one beer per game. So that
means each ref gets two beers total each game. Bring good beer if you
want good calls, bring Busch otherwise…
4. I am as guilty as the next moron, but please remember to bring
plastic Solo cups or the like to the fields and use them during the
games. We don’t need any run ins with the law.
5. If you have any concerns, complaints, comments, compliments, or
just want to give me a hug, please come to me and I can help resolve
any issue their may be.

Alright, yall please disregard any spelling or grammar mistakes. Yall
take care will see yall either on July 2nd or the 9th.

Presidente Rock



Hello Flip-cuppers,

We had a great first week at the new tall table. There were some usual first week bugs to work out, but overall things went well. There are a lot more matches to get through this season so I ask you all to have some patience as I get the timing worked out.

Please check the whiteboard near the flip-cup table for the match-up order. As the night goes by, winners are circled and forfeited teams are crossed out. This helps clarify where I’m at in the schedule and how long it will be before your matchup. A few words: First…PLEASE PLEASE get enough beer BEFORE you come to the table…with so many people waiting to play, stopping the game to get beer wastes precious time. Second…if you’re team wants to participate in the “official” flip-cup matches at the bar, get your butts to the bar after your games! 😛 If your team isn’t present when I come to get you for your match, you may be subject to forfeit.

OKAY…now that the business is out of the way… There were some AWESOME matches this week. Incredibly close game with Weapons of Mass Consumption and Booze on First. I thought WOMC would take it, but the flip cup veterans prevailed! Sit on My Base gave the Big LeBALLskis a run for their money but Grant’s team was able to squeak out the win. Lastly, I’m obviously going to give props to my team Baby Jesus for showing Hanna Montana how we flip! Watch out people, the Jen trifecta will once again be reunited next week. Special thanks goes to Drew for stepping in as this week’s guest referee so I could take part in the annihilation. I will give the tween-star’s fan club a shout out though for stepping in and playing those teams whose original team was a no-show. A shout out also goes to Booze on First for the same. I’m looking forward to next week! Check the website for the flip-cup standings and I’ll see you all next Thursday!!

Keep the beer flowin’ and the cups flippin’…

~ Jen

Flipcup Standings


Picture 7


Picture 13


And now, a recap from the fields…

Kickball Standings


Picture 4


Picture 12


Steven Seagal’s Dunder Siege

Game 1 vs. Ace of 2nd Base


This season, Dunder must look deep within itself and answer the question – what are we without E’Lois?

Will we have any SPIRIT, any FIRE, any DUUNNDDEEERRR????

On Thursday, Dunder took the field and answered those questions with a resounding “PROBABLY!!!”
The Dunder Force landed a  2-1 victory against a classy team (when’s the last time you heard a team argue against a call in their favor?).
Our ranks were bolstered by new recruits – just like that stripper and the old retired guy in “Under Siege”, these are regular people who have found themselves caught up in extraordinary circumstances and must answer the call to heroism. Tara looks to be a great runner, Andrew was fearless in sliding then playing injured, Adrian was the smart center field operator, and brave Christina soldiered on after a brutal first-base assault on her person. Zepeda calculated his return, watching and waiting for his chance to strike.
And the old vets looked fast, sharp and mean. Smart kicks, running catches… Kristen even threw herself in front of a delivery truck, for some reason.
In every game, we the Very Special Forces of Dunder Siege will foil our enemies on the battleship of a dusty kickball field, foiling their plans to nuke Honolulu (i.e. score). Hopped up Steven Seagal’s “Asian Experience Lightning Bolt Energy Drink” with Asian Cordyceps, Tibetan Goji Berry, and Policosanols – we will be the unstoppable, improbable  aging action heros of kickball. With or without E’Lois.



Red Rockets

Happy 4th of July, WAKA ATX!

red rockets

It was a great start to the season for the Red Rockets…a comeback victory in the bottom of the 5th to win the game 2-1 and some impressive flip cup action to top off the night.  And we celebrated way too late!!  I love when people wake up at my house still sporting their Red Rocket uniform and try to gather themselves to go into work, hilarious. I think the steroids in the off season and the players we are paying to play are really going to help out this season.Your browser may not support display of this image.

Note to Meredith..make sure there aren’t phones and keys in the sides of the cooler when you dump out the empties in the trash because they are hard to find and we looked like bums going through the trash trying to find some grub.  Shoot your rockets off for us on the 4th!


Walk OF Shame

Summer ’08 – #2 Seed (Loses to Viagra Popups – 2nd Rd)
Winter ’08 – #2 Seed (Loses to Soul Train – 2nd Rd)
Spring ’09 – #3 Seed (Loses to Kids in Rehab – 2nd Rd)
  • “You’re the Orlando Magic of kickball.” – Cameron, Division Rep
  • “Do you even know what a trophy looks like?” – Jay, Relax and Let it Happen
  • “You guys have no talent, you just suck.” – Rock, Capital President
  • “We won. You lost. Where’s our beer, bitch?!” – Minnie, Lisa, Carrie, and the rest of Sit on my Base
“Motivation: All your hatin’ is fuel to my fire.” T.I. (Currently in prison)

It’s been a really rough offseason for the Walks! Highest ranked live team last season only to flame out in the quarters, to a team that chose to bunt. How fitting… We now have all kinds of doubters.
Captains of teams that have never beat us are talking too… (looking at you Cameron and the rest of former members of #$@& Tourettes). Have you ever gotten the taste of that 17-1 lashing out of your mouth? Just wondering… Oh! Before I forget, how did that first game go anyway? Baby Jesus is in trouble, but I’m sure the extra talent that escaped the Walks after last season will help you pull through. Can’t wait for the epic clash later this season…
Anyway, Smirkin Merkins are the shit! You guys had some really good people and the game was awesome. Thanks so much for the ice before the game. You were a party saver! And flip cup at the fields? Can we actually have our flip cup match next week with you guys at the fields? Say yes. Great game. Here’s to hoping you guys go 7-1!
Way to get a win team!! Thanks to our girls for being troopers and dealing with the rotation. I dont know how we are going to do it the rest of the way, just make sure you don’t kick me in the balls when i screw up! You ladies are our MVP this week.
Cindy, Kim, Karen, Drea, and Mizzy
Big shout outs to our newest members of Walk of Shame… Brian and Karen. The rest of the league doesn’t even know what we kind of amazing we have stumbled upon with these two. Welcome back to the Walks, Mike Hansen! It has not been the same out there without you! Now learn to catch the ball, or next week is catcher. You went to USC, thats bad enough. Let’s go!
And here is some parting math equations…
Walk of Shame > The Big LeBallski’s
-By the way Grant, I will never wear a skirt. But you will… And it’ll be sexy. And then you can do that dance we all like.
Walk of Shame > Relax and Let it Happen
Joey wears panties.


The Big LeBALLski’s

leballskis got ’em, little lady!

I’m honestly still confused as to what happened at our game.  Our Ref’s, and I’m not going to mention names here, (but it rhymes with Andre Sucks At Reffing) might as well have been walking around talking to the trees.  Alls fair in love and kickball, so I forgive you.  And ❤ you… No big deal..

We got a new name, new badass color, and a few new peeps.  Welcome Mark, Juan, Leigh and Tyler to a little thing I call being awesome on a Thursday.

We played “Sit On My Base” which gives me the perfect little chill of creepyness running down my spine every time I say it.  I don’t remember our first run, but I’m sure it was awesome.  The girls really stepped it up last night and I could not be more proud.  Sam, we decided, is our MVP for awesome base running and sweetest smile, or whatever will get all you ladies to think I’m cool.  Won the Game 3-2.  Thanks for a good game Base Sitters.. we enjoyed it.

Close competition but ultimately another W at the bar in flip cup.  Proud of my peeps for “One and Done”ing their way to the victory.  Yes, I know “one and done”ing doesn’t make sense… No, I don’t care.

Looking forward to a great season!  Party on, people..


ginga belly anyone?


Been There, Balled That

been there balled that

A stunning comeback for the ‘Been there, Balled That’ team.  An impressive RKI (run kicked in) by Maddie really started the rally.  The next inning, Lisa’s double kept the momentum going.  A sacrifice fly allowed her to tag up and score another run bringing the score excitingly close.  Finally one of the guys stepped up and kicked in the winning run.  Our ‘eye-candy’ girls had a great game advancing the runners and fantastic fielding.  Our sweaty guys did okay, scraping up their knees by their messy groveling around the bases, rolling in the dirt like Peter Griffin on a bad LSD trip ; )


Baby Jesus

baby jesus

What a week for Team Baby Jesus.  We carried over the good half of the Cereal Killers, those who embraced the light.  Pugs, Zach, Lisa, Jen Cubed.  We filled out our ranks with some high-priced free agents from other teams, Kia and Miya.  We lured a former Capital star out of retirement, nice to have you back Colin.  And we welcomed in some new blood, Mike and Sean and Chris and Glen.
On the field the defense was stellar.  Sean “Don’t Call me Stretch” at 1st was using his 11-foot wingspan to turn hits into outs.  Mike tracked down everything at 2nd base, and Miya made several critical forceouts.  We also had the always popular right field-1st base putout, awesome.  All told, the defense was absolutely stellar.  We rocked it out, caught everything, the other team didn’t stand a chance… hang on.  The 1st runner got on base.  And the he scored caused we booted the ball around?  And that was it, we lost 1-0?
G@# D$#&^#!!!


Sit On My Base

Say you don’t know me, or recognize my face
Say you don’t care who goes to that kind of place
Knee deep in the hoopla, sinking in your fight
Too many runaways eating up the night

Marconi plays the Mamba,
Listen to the radio
Don’t you remember?
We built this city
We built this city on rock and roll!
We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll


Someone always playing corporation games
Who cares they’re always changing corporation names
We just want to dance here, someone stole the stage
They call us irresponsible, write us off the page

Who counts the money ,underneath the bar
Who rides the wrecking ball into our guitars
Don’t tell us you need us, ’cause we’re the ship of fools

Looking for America, crawling through your schools, don’t you remember …

Marconi plays the Mamba,
Listen to the radio –
Don’t you remember?
We built this city,
We built this city on rock and roll
We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll


by Zach Arrington of SOMB


Smirkin Merkins

scary merkin

Um… so I am pretty sure that I was hit by a bus at some point Thursday night because there is no way alcohol hurts that bad.  Smirkin Merkins stepped up to create the most killer hangover ever. The feats of athleticism were impressive… the flipping of cups even more so… the fact that I had 10 empty beer cans, three sawhorses, and a cup with 2 hot dogs in my cup holder when I got in my car to go to work the next morning  indicates a pretty f$*($#! awesome night. Shout outs to Sean Fair & Joe Young for many, many rounds of shots.

The SMKickassKickball Team had our only loss of the season. Tragically that loss was to Walk of Shame, notorious shit talkers and bet welchers. We celebrated getting that loss out of the way by using the new chalkboard painted flip cup table of delight. “Define Statutory” matched up against “If there’s grass on the field” then we took on a random yellow team and called ourselves “Todd’s Mom”. There was lots of  yelling and drinking and I think maybe a shotgun at some point. After that, it gets really hazy. I think we were entering hour 2 of flipcupoffs best of 7. Then Manny Fernandez (resident pyro) took over the grill, used almost an entire bottle of lighter fluid and made what we like to call “Manny’s LightEmUp Weiners”.  Well, we call them that now because I just made that up but really, there were so many phallic jokes we’ll just let your imagination run wild.  Props to Manny for absolutely saving some lives that night.

I think this is going to be the best season EVER – mainly because our team is hot, can cook, can flip cups like Michael Jackson can overshadow Farrah Fawcett (too soon?), and because for each game, we will be wearing some kind of furry triangle merkins over our crotch. Yes, I said crotch.

Next game, we promise to bring the table out in the middle of the fields so you can all witness how snatchtastic we really are.

By Kelly Stocker, Social Diva


Sexy Pitches

The sun was out, our balls got hot,

all was primed for our first shot

against Kickopotomus we played our best,

we put our fun level to the test

While losing this game was the only glitch,

it didn’t matter ’cause we are one Sexy Pitch

Flip-cup is a game of suds and of swagger,

and after a while you don’t notice our stagger

Some pickles are dills, some pickles are gerkins…

tonight we flipped off the Merkins

We drank down the beer, we flipped over plastic,

we showed no fear cause we Pitches are fantastic.




After putting together the finest specimen of kickballers this side of IH-35, this new team of gladiator proportions narrowly escaped with a loss. Battling the odds against a team who clearly may or may not have used performance enhancing tools (note the CFs “sticky” gloves) to get the win, iKickballs definitely won this matchup if we counted # of beverages consumed and butt pats.
Plays of the game:
– A long, hard kick made by Brian in the first inning. Too bad his shoe went farther than the ball.
– Steven’s slide tackle catch which showcased his passion for the game, that and the six inches of missing skin on his leg.
– TJ’s domination at first base proving that our presumptions were correct, he does know how to handle balls of all sizes.

Great pitching by the B-boys, Brandon and Brian. And great outfielding by Kai, Rachel, Chris, Sarah, Katie & Steven. Though we may have lost this one, something tells me we may be a force to be reckoned with…



freebasing cookie monster

The Freebasers are back and fiending harder than ever.  We finally got over last season’s finale buzz-kill and are ready to smoke some new competition.  Sporting our new Kraft mac-n-cheezy getup, we were ready to reach new highs on Thursday. However, week one was rough on the baseheads for our numbers were light and the calls didn’t go our way.  Great play from the new fiends helped keep the game tight to the last inning, but it wasn’t enough.  Like Hampsterdam, week one is over and gone but the game is the game.

– Freebasers


Liver Let Die

Liver Let Die Picture

What a start. We drew the 3-time reigning champs for our first game. With 7 rookies and a few wily ‘ol vets we gave them a scare. Although brief, I saw fear in their eyes for a moment.

Liver was mostly solid. Maybe we backed up a little too far when Joey kicked, accidentally walked their best player (Nancy), and our Coach was a little loopy on assigning positions, but these are just minor blips on our way to a championship season. First highlight – Justin was actually thrown out by Truman. Yes, the fastest man on the field – OUT. Denise was rookie of the game making 2 solid defensive plays and getting on base with some great bunting. AND, Allie caught Joey’s fly ball….without a bobble. No homer’s against us big guy.  “You gotta catch that shit”!

As one would expect, Rock was in true form coaching, drinking, pill popping (for his knee, of course), and finishing off the vodka/watermelon juice from the corner of the zip lock bag.  Great times!!!  Looking forward to the rest of the season!
Cheers – Nic

liver let die


Where My Pitches At

where my pitches
For a team that didn’t really know one another, and was a mix of seasoned vets n’ newbies…we pulled off our first victory. We beat the Freebasers 4-3. It was a heated game, with lots of trash talk. It’s okay though, I’d be mad too if I lost to a new team.
Highlights from our game:

McMyler and B Lane colliding while attempting to go for the same fly ball. You’d think that two people who’d played sports (he a college football player, her a softball vet) would know to say, “got it!” or “mine!” Yet, all concentration was on the ball..B lane caught McMyler’s shoulder to the face, and luckily he caught the ball for the out.

The fourth inning got a little rowdy… Breaking one of the most important rules of the game, the third baseman decided to stand on the base while Angie ran towards the plate. A collision obviously ensued, but thanks to Angie’s quick pace and determination to win, she was declared safe. “Pitchy” trash talk then followed, of course.. luckily all that was bruised was the other players ego.

Our seasoned kickball vets: Nathan, Kristin, and Dave really helped pull the team to victory, as well as great plays by Katherine on first base. Strategies and excellent field plays by everyone else sealed the deal. Looking forward to continuing our luck this week. We’ll have more players joining our team…so heads up Capital Division. We’ll also be bringing our skills to the flip cup tourney this week, we weren’t able to last week due to a shortage of players at happy hour.

Oh and to the Freebasers, we’re Sorry for being awesome.


Alright, kids.. Keep watching that clock, stretching and hydrating!!

We’ll see you on the fields tonight!!

Week2 schedule

daa crips.

daa crips.